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Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

Has internet dating changed you?

terry
terry Male
A month ago
Was just wondering this morning, now internet dating has been around for a fair while, has it changed you in any way or made you think differently about starting relationships?
Molly
Molly Female
A month ago
I think it has terry. If it wasn't for the internet most of the men I might meet up with in my age group would be someone I have known for years or someone I might meet at the library, coffee shop or an oldies club. With the internet the choices are greater and it gives more opportunities.
BOYDEL
BOYDEL Male
A month ago
One obvs change is the to create a Profile one is forced to think about what one is seeking - and offering - so that removes some of the spontaneity compared to the former face to face meetings at say a workplace/social event etc.

That said - the vast majority of those using internet dating seem to believe that nobody reads profiles with most just looking at the pics and basing their reactions on visual appeal only.

That may of course vary depending on whether one is looking for a life partner or just some form of casual involvement/play it by ear/see how it goes type of thing.
Pixiefluff
Pixiefluff Female
A month ago
I read a lot of the conversations and that gives me more of a insight into people, thoughts,ethics,humour, and values etc. However, since returning to MSE I would say that the likelyhood of me actually dating online is plummeting towards zero.
Mazer
Mazer Male
A month ago
You generally know a lot more about someone you have exchanged messages with online and then talked on the phone than you would ever have known bumping into someone in the outside world but maybe discovery is half the fun. 
Minnie-the-Minx
Minnie-the-Minx Female
A month ago
Mine is a story of two halves.  Internet dating has changed so much from when I tried it the first time.  Some of that might be reflected in the fact that I was out of the game for 10 years and perhaps the man are that much older now.  When I was newly single at 40, I met quite a lot of people.  None of them were really horrible, though I did meet one or two chancers.  I did enjoy meeting new people, back then, and I went in with the attitude that I just hadn't met the right man YET.  So I would say that I was fairly optimistic back than and possibly quite naive.  Then I met someone who I was with for 10 years and at that time I believed that online dating was great, it worked, until that very gradually dwindled away over time and I woke up one day realising that I wasn't actually in a relationship, after all.  So, then I started to rekindle my social life and meet new people again.  And crikey, how things had changed in that time.  It all seemed to have evolved into something much more cynical and I did make one or two quite nice male friends, but the men that I was meeting were either not looking for a relationship, not looking for one with me, or they were incapable of having a relationship with anyone.  So, I have become a lot less optimistic about online dating, I am also a lot more wordly wise, and a lot less likely to think the best of people, until they have shown that they are worthy of my trust.  It's also made me realise that the chances of meeting another partner now is infinitesimally small, so my focus has been on building a life that is fulfilling and contented whether I meet someone else or not.  If I did meet Mr Wonderful by chance, I wouldn't send him packing, but I no longer have any confidence that online dating will be the way of finding that person.
Pixiefluff
Pixiefluff Female
A month ago
I do think talking to people on the phone makes a big difference to be honest. I get more of a feel for that person, tones, expression, how we communicate verbally is important to me particularly if we were considering a meet, and if the communication is right then there is likely to be less or even no awkwardness,and of course more promising for a future friendship/relationship.
Minnie-the-Minx
Minnie-the-Minx Female
A month ago
I thought that until the last person that I met up with.  They had undergone a complete character transformation in between me leaving home and reaching our meeting place.  :)))I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I thought, wtf!!!!!
BOYDEL
BOYDEL Male
A month ago
Even amongst those mature people who are "in a relationship" - many will be living in separate homes with ech party potentially knowing very little about the rest of their "partner's" life.

With around 2/3rds of households now in owner occupancy - many mature people will be carefully guarding their assets by filtering out those with a lower net worth - or at the very least keeping them very much at arm's length in terms of eg cohabiting.

One MSE lady I chatted to a while back was asking why so many single men were living with parents/renting - and as she was not from UK I had to explain the issues involved.
MrQuiet
MrQuiet Male
A month ago
I thought that until the last person that I met up with. They had undergone a complete character transformation in between me leaving home and reaching our meeting place. :)))I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I thought, wtf!!!!!


It's those odd ones which give lasting memories and make dating worthwhile.
Pixiefluff
Pixiefluff Female
A month ago
Maybe that was nerves? I still would want to build up a relationship via telephone before meeting someone. I can put a voice to the character profile and build up a stronger picture.
eurostar
eurostar Female
A month ago
I remember back in the day first starting to use the Internet for dating, jeez I was paranoid about all the fakes ooerThen I relaxed and went with gut feeling and dated lol and went to meets etc loved it

Haven't used Internet for dating in over 5 years and the thought of it now is oh god no, mates have been on it with some right con people, scammers, cheaters etc and the thought of having to learn how these sophisticated barstard liars work now is just not for me.

I.m slowly but surely using the Internet less and less preferring real life stuff I can enjoy,, ie, seeing events posted, searching for places to go, hobbies etc, I hate all this virtual stuff that lockdown produced hate it hate it. 

Internet dating is not for me anymore
G-O-W
G-O-W Female
A month ago
I think I'm with you on that euro!
Pixiefluff
Pixiefluff Female
A month ago
I haven't dated online or on MSE since my son was two... Just got bored with it. Since then it's always been people I've met in real life by chance...
MrQuiet
MrQuiet Male
A month ago
I'm happy to date here, other sites or out in the natural world. People are people, good, bad or ugly wherever you meet them.
Minnie-the-Minx
Minnie-the-Minx Female
A month ago
If that was nerves, just relieved that I found out he had nerves before it went any further.  Bloomin eck.
Pixiefluff
Pixiefluff Female
A month ago
I can imagine Euro right now goingInternet life ..yuk yuk yuk :D
Pixiefluff
Pixiefluff Female
A month ago
I remember one guy from here driving all the way from Poole, Dorset to meet me and there just wasn't any spark, and I just felt very guilty about that.. nice handsome guy.. just no spark.. 
HotOrWot
HotOrWot Male
A month ago
I'm happy to date here, other sites or out in the natural world. People are people, good, bad or ugly wherever you meet them.

I've met the good, the bad and the ugly in the real world but not so much online.
CircusMaximus
CircusMaximus Male
A month ago
The internet has made it very easy to meet new people.
Pixiefluff
Pixiefluff Female
A month ago
Sometimes people can become more comfortable behind a screen than real life, a lot of friends that used to visit tend to have replaced that with a WhatsApp chat now.. which is ok sometimes but I like real life.
Mumsie
Mumsie Female
A month ago
Very interesting thread and honest responses I was naive in the early days , thank goodness I stayed safe , chat rooms taught me so much , as I saw some characters flitting from room to room , exchanging messages , it showed me so much of human behaviour , from some men in how one learned very quickly , what they were looking for .I so wondered did they behave the same in reality , or just some sad lonely bloke , chancing someone , would take up their offers of everlasting " love "

The ones I did meet , not a spark from any , hello and a fairly quick goodbye 

Much certainly changed any ideas,  might have held in finding romance and love, the darker side , I feel I saw,

MSE as I have shared on here previously was a very lively happy site, the meets I went to showed , kindness in people opening up and sharing their homes, with members and all sorts of meets happening On one in Peterborough , I was very nearly grabbed and whixked off to India, pushed onto a none MSE table. All part of the fun in those MSE days 

Life doesn't always turn out as to how we would want it to be 

A few of my thoughts and memories over the years , in my widowhood 
BOYDEL
BOYDEL Male
A month ago
People especially singletons get pretty set in their ways as they mature - and that is neither good nor bad - just a fact of life.

Most will not have much interest in a partner living "miles away" - though that will vary in individual cases - but an educated guess suggests that in the main interest will soon wane if a prospective partner is more than say one hour's travelling time away - though as always there are exceptions.
Greencare
Greencare Female
A month ago
I enjoy making new friends on the internet.
HotOrWot
HotOrWot Male
A month ago
The internet has brought me an amazing number of friends I would never have met and not only from miles away but also from my own local area.


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