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The best way to end a relationship.

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Male
CircusMaximus  Male  North Yorkshire
30-Aug-2020 10:30 Message #4791079
Ghosting is very popular.
Male
Pboro Trevor  Male  Cambridgeshire
30-Aug-2020 10:32 Message #4791081
Carefully, otherwise the repercussions could be very painful

Trevor
Female
KatieBubbles  Female  West Sussex
30-Aug-2020 11:52 Message #4791091
If I'm being dumped then a text message will suit be fine. No rubbish about its me not you or I deserve better just goodbye and move on.
Female
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire
30-Aug-2020 12:01 Message #4791093
I hated it when someone said - I need some space for while. Best to get it over quickly - then shout out loud "NEXT"
Female
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
30-Aug-2020 12:06 Message #4791094
V, a friend's husband said that once and the next thing he found his suitcase packed with an invitation to toddle off until he had had enough of space. :)
Male
BOYDEL  Male  Surrey
30-Aug-2020 12:10 Message #4791096
Minnie

Was the wife then happy to pay rent/mortgage after kicking out husband lol?
Male
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia
30-Aug-2020 12:12 Message #4791097
Shagging someone else usually does the trick....
Female
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
30-Aug-2020 12:15 Message #4791098
To the OP, I would say ideally with kindness and respect, but circumstances or interpersonal skills do not always make that possible. Occasionally, a quick exit may even be necessary, if personal safety comes into the equation. So long as they tell me, even by text, I'll settle for that. Ghosting is a horrible thing to do to anyone and it is disrespectful. Though tbh, in internet world, my expectations are pretty low, where Disappearing Man can be found ten a penny. If I haven't heard from them within the time period that I would expect, I assume that they have gone anyway, which has on occasions resulted in some perplexity when they reappear again. :D
Male
fosy  Male  Leicestershire
30-Aug-2020 16:17 Message #4791113
"Shagging someone else usually does the trick...."

yeh, for extra quick results the mother/daughter depending on the age of the wife....;¬)
Female
LadyVera  Female  Cumbria
30-Aug-2020 17:23 Message #4791115
Was the wife then happy to pay rent/mortgage after kicking out husband lol?

------------------

A bit presumptuous BOYDEL. Perhaps she was the wage earner and he was an idle waste of space? This is 2020 not 1820.
Female
Aely  Female  Hampshire
30-Aug-2020 17:55 Message #4791116
I kicked my husband out because he wasn't paying the rent - or anything else. Only the local pub saw a penny of his money. I got my solicitors to draw up a legal letter telling him his presence was no longer welcome. That way he knew I was serious.
Male
persona_non_grata  Male  North London
30-Aug-2020 18:42 Message #4791122
The decent way to end a relationship is to be respectful and fair. I do think a quick and positive break is important so everyone can move on.
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
30-Aug-2020 18:48 Message #4791125
"A bit presumptuous BOYDEL. Perhaps she was the wage earner and he was an idle waste of space? This is 2020 not 1820."

Indeed..... but some things never change! It still is debated, or at least it was least year, Who should pay on a first date?....

After all, it is 2020 not 1820.....

Even if he was an "idle waste of space" I'm sure she would have packed his bags long ago and moved on to pastures greener, if you know what I mean.

In answer to the original question....

I think it would depend on the circumstances. If its just a growing apart scenario, I'd do it with as much respect and kindness as I could. If it was because she messed me about in any way, I think it would be a straight case of "Get out my life!"

I recently mentioned a friend of mine who gave his wife the boot for a younger woman he met in the park. He explained the situation to her, asked her to vacate his house.... and she destroyed everything! Everything! When she moved out she stole what wasn't destroyed.... But that's OK.
Female
LadyVera  Female  Cumbria
30-Aug-2020 23:28 Message #4791143
I recently mentioned a friend of mine who gave his wife the boot for a younger woman he met in the park. He explained the situation to her, asked her to vacate his house.... and she destroyed everything! Everything! When she moved out she stole what wasn't destroyed

------------------------------------------

It might be more accurate to say he had already destroyed everything when he met a younger woman and thought it ok to give his wife the boot and expect her to walk away and not want her half of their joint assets at the very least.
She would not be guilty of theft for removing some of their joint possessions.

Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
31-Aug-2020 07:49 Message #4791146
"It might be more accurate to say he had already destroyed everything when he met a younger woman and thought it ok to give his wife the boot and expect her to walk away and not want her half of their joint assets at the very least."

Destroying his home is her taking her half of their "joint assests"?

I know you don't know them, and I only know his side of the story.....

He meets a woman walking in the park, decides he wants to pursue her. Tells his wife, asks her to leave. She takes her stuff, she takes their stuff, she destroys all his stuff, cut up expensive suits, and jackets, damaged a load of expensive guitars, cut cords off his electrical goods, slashed expensive sofas he bought....

Also, the relationship was..... dead for years according to my mate. Was he to stay in a relationship he wasn't happy in?

"She would not be guilty of theft for removing some of their joint possessions."

She removed and destroyed everything. Not some.

I just wonder, as I always do.... Shoe on the other foot, she met another man and he destroyed everything in the house. Do you still say it's "their joint assets"? I would say it was something like emotionally motivated vandalism, or destruction of someones property.
Male
Neros1954  Male  Devon
31-Aug-2020 09:05 Message #4791152
HonestBob I don't see any gender issues at all. Two people are married and jointly own a house and possessions. If one betrays the other by being unfaithful then that one should leave. Why should anyone be booted out of their own home?
Female
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
31-Aug-2020 09:32 Message #4791154
Good heavens, there are times when excellent and inappropriate buttons are insufficient. There are times when a laughter button would be most useful. Except it's not really funny.
Male
BOYDEL  Male  Surrey
31-Aug-2020 10:08 Message #4791160
Neros - it's usually a lot more complicated than that from a financial standpoint.

Nowadays possibly the majority of young couples under say age 40 will be in private rentals (ONS data) - and in most cases males earn more than women.

If say a wife/GF kicks out a cheating partner (or indeed vice versa) - then there will often be an issue with continuing to pay rent/bills on just one income. In vast majority of cases those in private rentals are not exactly flush with savings or income levels - otherwise they would probably have become home buyers.

Pretty similar in the owner occ sector too - as neither landlords nor mortgage lenders will be willing to put Tenancy Agreement/Mortgage in to sole name of remaining partner unless that person's income is deemed sufficient.

So quite often the phrase "kicking out" is a pretty hollow rhetoric as in effect in many such situations both parties end up vacating the former joint home - one because they are asked to leave and the other because they cannot sustain the associated outgoings.

Obvs marriage comes with more legal responsibilities esp where dependent children are involved - but nowadays only half of couples elect to get married whilst half of first marriages end in divorce and higher portion of subsequent marriages - hence half of new births are now out of wedlock.

" If one betrays the other by being unfaithful then that one should leave. Why should anyone be booted out of their own home?"

Often the Courts will side with eg wife and kids remaining in situ where a couple are owner occupiers - even if the wife was the unfaithful party - though as a separate issue there would be a financial settlement agreed via the Court if the couple fail to agree amicably between themselves.

A fairly common arrangement would be wife/kids get to remain in the marital home until kids are say 18/21 but thereafter the property is sold with a 50/50 split of net equity and wife thereafter expected to work if not already working.
Male
terry  Male  West Yorkshire
31-Aug-2020 11:33 Message #4791171
I know I'm going through a bit of a thick period, but what is ghosting?

In my own case I took the simple route and just told the ex. I was leaving, then left (did continue paying until court settlement)
Male
BOYDEL  Male  Surrey
31-Aug-2020 11:57 Message #4791178
"Essentially, ghosting is a phrase used in the dating community when someone, without any prior warning, cuts off all communication. You may be in a conversation, or have gone on a date or two with someone, then you find yourself sitting around waiting for next reply."
Male
tumbled  Male  Gloucestershire
31-Aug-2020 12:01 Message #4791181
When you've buried them under the patio......pretending they are ghosting can come back to haunt you....so I've been told.....
Male
terry  Male  West Yorkshire
31-Aug-2020 12:03 Message #4791182
Ahhhh, thanks for that.
Oooo 'eck, I do that all the time, even with family, but it's because I'm crap at keeping in touch with people not because I'm ending anything....
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
31-Aug-2020 19:05 Message #4791218
"Two people are married and jointly own a house and possessions. If one betrays the other by being unfaithful then that one should leave. Why should anyone be booted out of their own home?"

Thing is Neros...... as I said above...... It is HIS house. It belongs 100% to him. There is no joint nothing.

Yes it has been her home for a number of years, home as in where she lived. He also wasn't unfaithful, he dropped the wife to pursue the other woman. Which I think was the right thing to do. Problem was.... getting rid of the wife! Is he just to let her live in HIS house while he starts a new relationship with another woman?

I own my house, it's mine, or it will be in about 14 years. If I move a woman in, we live for years together then one day, I cheat on her. Not saying I would, but hypothetically lets say I cheat. Do you think I'm going to walk away from my property? The property I've burst my arse to pay for? She came to live in MY house, for the purpose of a relationship. Once that relationship is terminated, I'm expecting her to leave..... without compensation, or getting her "Piece of MY Pie!". If a woman wants a house..... she can buy one herself. To quote Lady Vera "It's 2020!"

However, what I think should happen, and how the law actually is are two different things. After all we know that statistics...... The vast majority of the richest women in the world got their wealth through inheritance or divorce!
Male
Neros1954  Male  Devon
31-Aug-2020 19:08 Message #4791219
I can't speak for Scottish law but in England if they were married the house would be joint ownership regardless of one person saying who had actually paid for it.
Female
Andromeda  Female  Berkshire
2-Sep-2020 09:05 Message #4791312
The youngsters I talk to who date from the internet often refer to being ghosted when soneone simply disappears.

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