Conversation The Common Room
Helper icon Helpers: Chris2mates , LLstill , PrincessFruitBat

About us

Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

I never thought I would do this

I must be mellowing in my old age!

happywalker  Female  Dorset 21-Aug-2018 18:45 Message #4723685
I have never liked cats, not in the slightest, but I would never hurt one. I simply don't want anything to do with them and really don't see the point in them (in particular I like to see birds in the garden and I also have a totally irrational fear of mice etc which I believe cats bring to their owners from time to time), but I do respect the fact that we don't all feel the same way.
To get to the point - I moved in with my partner about 18mths ago and he likes cats, but doesn't have one (phew!).
However, he does receive unsolicited visits from a neighbour's cat from time to time. We know nothing about this cat other than it (so I'm told) looks exactly like Felix who used to advertise cat food on the telly, so my partner calls him (might even be a her!) Felix. He is at least 15 years old as he's been visiting all that time (not often, once or twice a year)
Recently Felix has been visiting more often. It may be because I'm often home and have had the back door open during the hot weather. He strides through the kitchen and makes himself comfy on a chair in the dining room. Other than giving him the odd tickle under his chin, I have done nothing to encourage his visits.
Last week I was painting a small table in white undercoat on the patio - popped indoors to visit the loo and when I returned my paintwork was covered in black fur and Felix was standing there looking like a zebra crossing??. Before I could do anything he'd disappeared, but I'm pleased to say he returned a couple of days later looking like his old self.
I've taken photos of him in 'his' chair and often text them to my partner at work who goes all 'mushy' and soft about cats.
Well, this afternoon I was about to do some painting and guess who suddenly appeared sitting in 'his' chair? Yep, Felix.
Once again I find myself being welcoming to a cat - aaargh! What the hell has come over me and what would my dear departed dogs have had to say about that? They couldn't stand the things and I think they might now haunt me!
I've even given him some mackerel we had in the fridge (we've never fed him before and it was only a tiny bit) but what on earth did I do that for? I don't like cats!!! But here I am typing this with one sat right next to me...I must have had a funny turn - what do you lot reckon?
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 21-Aug-2018 18:58 Message #4723689
You've been catted! I've known many people who say they don't like a particular animal but when they actually get to know one get on quite well, of course it may be you just get on with this particular cat and you wouldn't so much with others, but cats are individuals just like people.
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire 21-Aug-2018 19:31 Message #4723693
You cant choose your relatives/family but you can choose your friends. I think Felix has chosen you. Be honoured, and give him the love he deserves. He will reward you with lots of love and attention.
happywalker  Female  Dorset 21-Aug-2018 20:36 Message #4723704
I think because he is elderly, he isn't a 'nuisance' if that's the right word. He is very fit for his age and looks in good condition, so I'm certain he has a good home, but I wonder if he's a bit lonely as I think his owners are out all day.
Anyway, tonight I had trout for tea and have saved some bits for him in case he comes tomorrow. Will that annoy his owners though?
I am growing rather fond of him - I've def had a funny turn!!
badman  Male  Suffolk 21-Aug-2018 21:11 Message #4723707
Have a look at mine on Youtube.

Sprog and Tink.
barney  Male  Surrey 21-Aug-2018 21:48 Message #4723711
I had four cats, the two eldest died and then I inherited three from a elderly relative who died so now five.

Mind you he also left me his house and enough money to keep me and them eating caviar for the rest of our lives lol.
NotHermit  Male  Derbyshire 21-Aug-2018 22:06 Message #4723712
It must be bad if you end up watching Sprog and Tink on youtube.
Cats are cool.
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire 22-Aug-2018 02:01 Message #4723720
Id say the clue is in your opening line, Happywalker - that you dont particularly like cats but would never hurt them. Im the same (id prefer a totally cat-free world given the choice). Generally I love animals and am strong on animal welfare; and it's the reason Ive been vegetarian since I was 7 y.o. I never take notice of cats trying to charm me (which they always try on non-cat lovers) and I never find them cute or interesting. Yet, staying with a cat owning friend recently, I found myself engaging with it as I usually do in those situations, talking to it, stroking it etc.
You seem to appreciate animals, and I think that's what it is: you tolerate and then your natural kindness takes over:)
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire 22-Aug-2018 11:18 Message #4723736
It's lovely that you enjoy his company, but I really wish people wouldn't feed other people's cats and it infuriates me when other people feed mine. So many people seem to want the benefits that a cat offers without wanting the responsibility or expense of owning one.
Cats aren't very faithful, except to their territory and will go to where they find the best grub. If you start giving him trout, the owner may well have a sudden unexpected and puzzling trouble getting him to accept the stuff that she or he normally gives him.
If he is elderly, he could be on a special diet. He may be diabetic, or have other health problems. I am told every time that I go to the vet that my boy is overweight, but it isn't on what I give him. I know that he dines out and he has the waistline to prove it.
It also means that when I want him in when it gets dark, he won't come in sometimes. I know that he has been elsewhere in the winter when it is cold out, because his fur is warm to touch. With the UK petkiller around and several strikes within less than a mile from my house, I want him home and safe.
I hate to flame some one else's post, but there are lots of reasons why it is innapropriate to feed other people's pets, and might I gently suggest that with your new found affinity for cats that you think about getting one of your own instead?
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 22-Aug-2018 12:07 Message #4723741
There are lots of older cats needing homes, cats tend to get quite placid as they get older. What Minnie said is true, I had a seriously overweight cat and my neighbours wouldn't stop feeding her, they said she was hungry, she wasn't she was greedy. It got so bad I told them I was taking her to the vet and actually took her to a friends house for an hour and then told the neighbours the vet had said the cat had to lose weight, so the neighbours ignored me and the vet and fed her more, even though she looked like a furry barrel on legs and had trouble walking.
barney  Male  Surrey 22-Aug-2018 15:22 Message #4723749
I agree with Minnie and wonderoushen.

One of my cats regulary goes walk about sometimes missing for days. It can be cold and wet but when he comes home he is warm and dry and not hungry so he has obviously found somewhere where he is fed.
Just got to get the other four to go with him lol.
happywalker  Female  Dorset 22-Aug-2018 15:36 Message #4723751
The cat is skinny, I gave it a teaspoonful of mackerel on about its 50th visit, so please spare me the lecture MTM and thank you for reminding me why I rarely visit this site. I was asking a question and would have appreciated an answer in a more friendly tone. Thank you also for pissing on someone who was doing her best to bring a bit of life to the threads - something which has been all too common on here in the past by a few members who seem to think that they are so much better than anyone else.
There are some lovely people on this site still, but sadly it is all too often that a few seem to think it's ok to 'take charge.'

Have fun everyone! I know I will !
justfem  Female  Cambridgeshire 22-Aug-2018 16:21 Message #4723753
It always puzzles me why it's OK to let a cat stray and then grumble if the cat uses others for food and yet it's totally unacceptable for owners to let dogs stray...

barney  Male  Surrey 22-Aug-2018 16:58 Message #4723754

How would you not let a cat stray ?. I leave the door into the garden open all day and also have a cat flap for when it is shut. The only way to not let them stray or roam is to keep them shut in which means litter boxes. No life for a animal.
My cats are often in the neighbours garden and their cats are often in mine but we don't feed each others cats.
One of my cats is obviously going a bit farther afield where he is being fed but that's life and there is not much I can do about it.
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 22-Aug-2018 18:39 Message #4723757
Happywalker I think that was a bit uncalled for, 1tsp of mackerel probably isn't going to do any harm, but many people do assume that any cat is homeless and hungry. I didn't read Minnies post as an attack on you, but as a general reminder that cats can be big liars and to be wary of feeding them.

I'd like to know how people think cats can be stopped from wandering too, many people like the idea that a cat chooses to stay with them and that they share thier home with a semi wild animal. I think many cats have a good life, having the benefits of living with humans alongside the benefits of being wild animals.
justfem  Female  Cambridgeshire 22-Aug-2018 18:39 Message #4723758
My friend has pedigree cats and they don't allow them to stray. I don't see the difference.
barney  Male  Surrey 22-Aug-2018 20:20 Message #4723771

So how does your friend stop her cats from straying ?.
Sea Urchin  Female  Essex 23-Aug-2018 00:07 Message #4723794
I actually watched a programme on TV quite some time ago and they followed several cats. It was discovered that many had up to six homes that they would visit. Some people were convinced that the cat was theirs and had been a stray they had taken in but in reality they just wandered from home to home. An owner would think their cat was out hunting and it could be cosying up in somebody elses home. Unless keeping a cat imprisoned as an indoor cat there is not much you can do, unless able to cat proof your garden so that they cannot escape. Cats are very independent and have minds of their own. If you let them out, it is impossible to know exactly what they are doing or where they are going. They could even be raiding a few bins, along with the birds and mice they may be catching. You could always try following, and jumping over a few fences and clambering over a few trees though. I can well understand how a cat can persuade you to part with a few scraps. If they reward you with a few purrs, difficult to resists. And if skinny, you could also be convinced that it is a stray. How are you to know, especially if a regular visitor?
badman  Male  Suffolk 23-Aug-2018 08:35 Message #4723804
Sprog and Tink own my village. I'm sure they have several places to eat, sleep and get attention but they are not over fed. Similarly, my neighbours cat comes to visit me and make himself at home. He gets on very well with my 2 and they often all go off together on an 'adventure'.
Stopping my cats from having the freedom they enjoy so much would be very cruel. They always come home in the evenings and stay in all night, often on my bed.
I rescued Tink when she was abandoned on our local allotment patch. When I first picked her up, it was as if she was made of polystyrene, she was so light and her bones were showing through her skin. I spent a week spoon feeding her and was very concerned she wasn't going to make it. But as you can see on YouTube, she's now Sprogs surrogate sister and they get on very well together.
I wouldn't try to change their behavior in any way. They are free to do as they choose and be with who they choose to be with.
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 23-Aug-2018 11:00 Message #4723814
People who have breeding pedigree cats often have a run thingy or net their gardens to stop the cat from getting out especially if its a female, cross breed kittens make no profit, Manthin asked me once if I wanted to get a pedigree and breed them, but I won't keep a cat under those circumstances.

My parents have been adopted by stray cats, they never got a cat on purpose, but always had a cat and it was obvious they were strays. The last one Smokey, was thin and dirty, running up and down meowing for a few days before they gave him anything, they checked with the local vets and shop notice boards to see if he'd been reported missing. My dad didn't really want him to move in and every time I spoke to him said 'that cats not coming in, that cats not coming in further than the kitchen' and so on until finally it was dad holding Smokey's paw in bed when he was scared of a thunderstorm. Smokey died a couple of years ago, we don't know how old he was as he was an adult when he moved in, but my parents had him for 16 years so he was at least 19 when he died.
barney  Male  Surrey 23-Aug-2018 11:10 Message #4723820
Funny thing is one of my cats is a pedigree Burman. He never goes far from the house and has never gone out of the garden even though he could.
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Aug-2018 13:54 Message #4723831
We were adopted by a feral cat (Blackie) when I first came here 10 years ago, he appeared in the garden looking dreadul -I did feed him and got some animal AB's which I hid in his food. He still comes every day and I can just give him a light stroke but only when he is eating but have to be prepared to get out of the way. He is always covered with wounds and even this morning he turned up with a lump missing on his back. I have become a dab hand with the 'spray' antiseptic now. He gets on reasonable well with Jerry ( my own cat) altho they have the occasional spar. I have to be careful if he follows me into the greenhouse as I cant past him without him flying at my legs. Vet says I will never tame him as he is quite wild but he comes when I call now. HImself has made a cat flap into the summer house so he spends wet/cold nights in there sometimes. He is getting regular food and cat vitamins now. He is not affectionate but I feel better knowing he has somewhere to call 'home' . He wouldnt belong to anyone round here as he is too wild, and we have no near neighbours. I will continue to 'mother' him as I think I am all he has.

Back to top  Back to top

Help with conversations Help with conversations »