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Instructions and warnings ...

.. you have to laugh!

Female
Judance  Female  Berkshire 21-Aug-2018 08:27 Message #4723641
I received my new bus pass yesterday .. having mislaid my old one years ago. I decided I might want to do more bus travel and the kind folk at West Berks give them away free, so ... why not?

I've just been reading the instructions for use, part of which said:
There is an electronic chip in the card; therefore it should not be bent, come into contact with water or direct sunlight; or be sat on. ( the punctuation is theirs not mine)

I had to chuckle .. when I got my new bank card, I don't remember anyone telling me not to sit on it!
Is 'sitting on things' something peculiar to the older generation, I wonder?
Should I start carrying a 'check before you sit' card? ... or maybe I'd just sit on it?

Any slightly odd instructions or warnings that you have come across ... let's hear them here!
Male
zodiac1  Male  Flintshire 21-Aug-2018 09:53 Message #4723648
" You,re drawing a blank "
Male
Jeff  Male  East Sussex 21-Aug-2018 09:59 Message #4723649
Some packs of peanuts contain the warning "May contain nuts".


But maybe that's not a nutty note, because peanuts are seeds, not nuts.

(Similarly almonds, pistachios, cashews, coconuts, etc. are not nuts.)
Female
Judance  Female  Berkshire 21-Aug-2018 10:02 Message #4723650
So what's a nut, then?

(.. keep it clean!)
Male
barney  Male  Surrey 21-Aug-2018 10:34 Message #4723651
On children's medicine.

Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicine.

Ok Emily you are going to have to walk to primary school today.
Female
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 21-Aug-2018 10:46 Message #4723653
Maybe because a lot of older men put things in a wallet iin thier back pocket, so they do sit on them?

I got told by a shop assistant that the pair of shoes I was returning wern't faulty because they wern't meant to be used for walking in!
Male
vanman  Male  Cambridgeshire 21-Aug-2018 11:11 Message #4723658
Judance ...

"So whats a nut, then?"t then?

A nut is composed of an inedible hard shell and a seed, which is generally edible, in general usage, a wide variety of dried seeds are called nuts, but in a botanical context 'nut' implies that the shell does not open to release the seed.

According to google/Wikipedia

:-}

Or, its a lump of various materials, with a hole in, that is 'threaded,' to receive a bolt,

Or, nut(ter),

One or two, MSE members! lol ;-}
Male
vanman  Male  Cambridgeshire 21-Aug-2018 11:19 Message #4723661
* The extra ..." t then? "
is not supposed to be there!

lol.
Female
Judance  Female  Berkshire 21-Aug-2018 12:26 Message #4723666
Thank you vanners ... I was going ton look it up but my grandson arrived. We're now trying to make a computer cake .. a laptop. We made the glass for the screen yesterday and have just made the cake.
So how do we now get a thin 30 x 22 cm cake with heavy 'glass' attached to stand at an angle as if the laptop was open??

Don't you just love it when your grandkids have 'a great idea, Nanna' ?
Spam.
Male
vanman  Male  Cambridgeshire 21-Aug-2018 15:26 Message #4723669
A couple from the roadworks on the A14

Heavy Plant Crossing

A giant fuchsia no doubt! ;-}

And ...

Expect Delays Until 2001

Bring a flask and some sarnies! lol.
Male
vanman  Male  Cambridgeshire 21-Aug-2018 20:49 Message #4723705
Five and a bit hours later, I spot a mistake! lol

Should be ...

Expect Delays Until 2021


and no one noticed, lol
does any one read these 'ramblings'?? lol ;-}
Male
barney  Male  Surrey 21-Aug-2018 21:41 Message #4723710
I did, I thought you were in your time machine.
Female
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire 22-Aug-2018 02:13 Message #4723721
I dont know quite when I 'saw the light', but I always thought the signs saying "By Road" meant that was a way to travel, as opposed to travelling by river or something.

Female
Judance  Female  Berkshire 22-Aug-2018 08:12 Message #4723726
I just thought you were referring to a past experience, vanners

Slightly off topic, but the wrongful use of the good old apostrophe can be weird ...

Where I used to live, there was a chip shop just off a roundabout that proudly displayed on the side of the building in large letters - Coach's Welcome. I did want to go and ask which one.
Male
Jeff  Male  East Sussex 22-Aug-2018 10:22 Message #4723731
Concerning the apostrophe, yesterday I saw a sign giving the superb advice that we should teach our daughters to be somebodies, not somebody's. (And presumably not just some bodies.)


But I haven't got any daughters.
Female
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 22-Aug-2018 12:15 Message #4723743
Maybe they should read Eats Shoots and Leaves, I won't even attempt to put puncuation marks in as I don't understand it at all, or maybe they've read the mickey take version, Eats Shits and Leaves, which might be more appropriate for a restuarant!
Female
Sea Urchin  Female  Essex 23-Aug-2018 00:16 Message #4723795
I find the signs that say, 'Danger Deep Water risk of drowning' annoying. I mean whre are the ones that say .Completely Safe, Deep Water, Ideal for swimming. ? :-) I actually enjoy swimming in deep water and haven't drowned yet.
Female
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 23-Aug-2018 11:05 Message #4723816
Round here the sea takes at least one tourist a year in some places its because there not good signage warning of the dangers of cross currents and others where people don't realise that there are rocks under the water at high tide. Deep water can give rise to strong currents that arn't always visible and people get into trouble, you sound like a strong swimmer Sea Urchin, but not everybody is and even strong swimmers can get caught out.
Male
barney  Male  Surrey 23-Aug-2018 12:07 Message #4723827
I like the misspelt ones.

At the doctor's yesterday there was one that said,

Immunsation for schools,


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