Conversation Dating and Relationships
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Where to go

on a date

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Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire
1-Oct-2017 00:35 Message #4702071
Not been in this chat thread b4 so not sure of this question has been raised b4.

Ok, another thread said "dont go 4 a meal on a first date" so where do you go / what do you do??
I have some ideas but will reveal them once you have given some of your tips . . .
over 2 you
Suskie  Male  Worcestershire
1-Oct-2017 01:08 Message #4702072
Anywhere with a handy exit. She may be a bunny boiler or might think I'm dreadful...
Dunno how that could possibly happen, I'm awesome! ??
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire
1-Oct-2017 02:11 Message #4702074
First meet date or first proper date, Madness? If it's the first meet then I'd say it's best to keep it low key and of indeterminate length so if it's an instant no-no or turns into one, then you can easily go home asap.

For me it would have to be somewhere nearby, where I wouldn't get dressed up, and where I'd feel at ease, my normal self. Thus, though it might sound boring, just meet for a drink. I always think that if you make it some kind of special occasion then it feels more significant and increases the pressure.

If a proper date, then a meal is a good way to chat and get to know someone.

I've been invited on all sorts of strange first meet-dates...a boxing match, "Go Ape" Adventure Park, and a motorbike ride, to name but three! Might sound more original than a drink, but the latter serves the purpose better.
connexkev  Male  East Sussex
1-Oct-2017 03:55 Message #4702076
Go for a coffee at a café to have a chat. If all is going well and you and the date are feeling relaxed then go to a restaurant for a meal.
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia
1-Oct-2017 07:57 Message #4702078
Oh gawd not this meet or date thing again, what in hell is the difference? You are meeting the person in the flesh for the first time right?
My thinking is keep it short and simple, don't plan lots of stuff, don't plan a whole day - a quick drink or coffee so you can chat and see if you connect at all.
Assuming you get on and want to see each other a second time then you can make the dates more complex...
The_38th_Parallel  Male  Essex
1-Oct-2017 08:35 Message #4702081
Cassis, nailed it.

Why make something potentially stressful even more so, by going over the top, or too abstract, early doors
and anyone who's watched the First Dates series would've seen how disastrous first date meals can be for either one or both of the people involved.
If it's "right" there'll hopefully be plenty of chances for other/different venues down the road.
AndyMacG  Male  the West Midlands
1-Oct-2017 10:10 Message #4702090
I'm with Hierophant on this but with the addition of after the initial meeting if like he said you both seem to hit it off then you can always continue on the first day and make it a long day and maybe plan something on the spur of the moment and then if that works out for the both of you then take things from there and so-on :)

Andy Mac
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire
1-Oct-2017 11:24 Message #4702095
Well . . .
All boring so far
coffee ??
meal ??

Perhaps I should have said 'Dates'
You know, once you know you're ok together.
Are all your dates just as boring ?
Where is your imagination ??

Coronto : I have been searching everywhere for years now (see my profile) for an Air Hockey table and not found one. And your suggestion is about the best so far (not the drowning aspect tho!) But to go somewhere you can have a bit of fun. On a date you DO NOT have to talk 24/7.

I met a guy once and I said "where we going" he shrugged and said "dunno" - I walked away at that point. (I was 17 at the time but even then thought Hey you asked me OUT and you have nothing planned?
bella111  Female  Devon
1-Oct-2017 11:27 Message #4702096
If you are an item as such then you both should know each others likes and dislikes and it is not up to the man to have ideas all the time. If it is a first meet all the above are appropriate,
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia
1-Oct-2017 11:31 Message #4702097
Ahh so you are moving the goalposts cos we gave boring answers?
You say "you know, once you know you're ok together"...then you go on to talk about meeting a guy for the first time and him not being prepared.
Surely once you are ok together you will know what each is into - I'd suggest a day watching the combines bringing in the harvest, that's my idea of a good time...
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire
1-Oct-2017 11:36 Message #4702103
id go somewhere fun, like mcdonolds.
Lady  Female  North Yorkshire
1-Oct-2017 16:01 Message #4702136
Do you mean ideas for dates after a first meet and a couple of dates but while you're still in the "getting to know each other" phase?

We used to do a variety of days out in different places (and still do)

Long country walks in the Moors or Dales, with a nice pub stop for lunch.

Days at the seaside - somewhere like Whitby, where you could go up to the ruined Abbey and admire the view, explore the town a bit, mess about in the penny slot arcade, eat fish and chips by the harbour, wander along the beach.

City days out to explore the city, wander around a gallery or museum, find a nice spot for lunch, maybe end with a trip to the theatre or cinema.
York - Lots to explore in the quaint streets, the fabulous Minster, interesting Museum with recreated old streets and shops, plenty to look at in the Railway Museum.
Durham - lovely Cathedral and long riverside walks. Plenty of cosy cafes.
Newcastle - I always like the vibe of Newcastle - the Baltic Mill, the Tyne Cinema - the walk along the river - the riverside market on Sundays.
Manchester - our favourite bit was the Museum of Science & Industry.
Liverpool - loads to explore
Visit a National Trust Property or gardens.

This may not be your idea of fun, of course - although most things can be fun in the right company.
We both used to take our turn in planning days out - one of us would usually do a bit of research to see what events were happening and plan a day out around an event, exhibition or theatre performance - then look up what other places of interest were in that area and check out reviews of possible restaurants etc, so we had a rough skeleton plan with a few options, which may change as the day unfolded.
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire
1-Oct-2017 17:28 Message #4702150
Thanks Coronto but Devon is about 500 miles from me - and I dont have a jet !!!

YES ! LADY has hit it on the head exactment !
Those first few dates to get 2 know each other and NOT sitting at a table opposite each other trying desperately to think up something interesting.

At first, I would think its the mans duty to think where he is going to take you - of course one or two options should be ready in case she says no dont like that idea. But I have found that men in general dont have the imagination or dont want to make any effort when really all they want to do is shag. OK a bit of a generalization I know - I would suggest that you try and watch the film "Hitch" altho this is about first dates, but not one of them are a meal or coffee!

Go online and look up activities : the idea of Alphabet Dates is great - and taking it in turns to come up with the next letter is great fun. And then maybe, just maybe, when you reach "S" you can suggest sex !!!
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire
1-Oct-2017 17:29 Message #4702151
Maybe your "date" should dress up as a clown and play the bongos with his willywonka if you're so desperate to be entertained instead of making an effort to get to know the guy so the interesting dates will be a product of the connection between the two of you.

Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire
1-Oct-2017 17:32 Message #4702153
Heiro - that was a good example that we were not going to go on any more dates !
Not moving goalposts - just did not explain myself very well - sori.

Watch Hitch, and Lady has given some great ideas - and there's many more where they come from !
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd
1-Oct-2017 17:41 Message #4702158
I'm so glad I'm not up for it all anymore, it all sounds far to complicated.
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire
1-Oct-2017 17:43 Message #4702159
And thanks Lady for the great ideas - I just love Whitby - plenty 2 c an do - York wonderful too.
I think the ambience is important - dont go to a horror or war movie - the date wont like it much perhaps. Well maybe you might both be into that? There is no accounting for taste !!

Just a tip here - when you meet up for first time it should be somewhere that the woman feels safe - coffee is good but make it quite clear that it is just a quick meetup 2 c if you find each other reasonably attractive. Leave after an hour - you can always meet again if you feel inclined. DONT drag it on ... its then that it becomes strained and you keep trying to be cheerful, talkative, interesting. My thought are "little and often" until you are sure you can stand a longer time together.
then have fun thinking what to do on date 2 and 3 (no, not that!!)
barney  Male  Surrey
1-Oct-2017 17:58 Message #4702169
As Cassis said.

If you have got to know each other and find each other interesting and get on really well it doesn't matter where you are the conversation will flow naturally.
I would not want to be put under pressure and constantly have to think up new ideas of where to take someone and entertain them.
If I am pressurised it might not get to S, it might be,
Bugger off.
Clear off.
Do one.
Feck off.
Get lost.
Hop it.

AndyMacG  Male  the West Midlands
1-Oct-2017 19:38 Message #4702181
Well, even though you didn’t explain yourself very well at the beginning i still think that the meeting on a first date is easily extendable depending on of course you both seem to hit it off initially.

So, when meeting on a first date why is it that the woman has to feel comfortable, what about the guy, Especially if he is traveling out of his area and then wouldn’t it be more feasible for the person who is local to the meeting place to make the plans?
I know if i was meeting someone who was traveling to my local area i could think of several places to take her providing they were the kind of places she liked which of course could be discussed at the initial meeting in a safe public place first oh and the weather would have a telling factor as well.

Andy Mac
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
1-Oct-2017 20:16 Message #4702184
Hermie, if that was meant to be an impression of Beach.

It was a disaaaster daaarling!
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire
1-Oct-2017 21:26 Message #4702186
I think most of you men are missing the point altogether ! Typical of men !!

Cassis - I did not say I needed to be "entertained" but the date should be fun, or interesting (or both) for BOTH of you. Coffee or meal are (to me anyway) like the proverbial raffle prize - either drink or chocolates - how boring this gets!!

Barney - there should be no pressure on either side - thats not any fun is it? But not doing anything but sit in a pub with your date isnt either - all I'm suggesting is that you have somewhere or something to do.

Andy - I said "safe" not comfortable. Meeting a stranger for the first time the woman must be careful and should meet in a "safe" place. This is not so important for the male - men hardly ever feel threatened.

What I am saying is that boring dates get boring very quickly - so make an effort - on both sides. By doing different things you will learn more about a partner.

Well those are my ideas anyway.
sandy_sw  Female  Devon
1-Oct-2017 21:51 Message #4702189

Why do you think the woman would not have to feel comfortable? Isn't that imperative? Both parties might be nervous, but surely the woman must not feel vulnerable.
May the trolling begin..
brisinger  Male  Lancashire
1-Oct-2017 22:18 Message #4702194
If I'm in London I tend to meet up either at Niche or a hidden gem called Blue River cafe, London... anywhere except McDonalds! Then we can always depart at that point or carry on to somewhere else depending on our interests. In Manchester Katsouris is a great place to meet up... except for coeliacs, or Ziferblat. Usually, though, if it's past the first few dates I'd consider the option going something like Trinity Laban Conservatoire where they sometimes they have free events on for the up and coming artists if I was meeting in London. Mind you I've been known for going to gigs on first dates if we both are interested in the same band. We ended up going out for about 2 years but that's another story! You can always depart straight away afterwards or go somewhere to have a chat.

More locally to me a trip on the East Lancs Railway to the last Temperance Bar in Britain can make a nice easy going day out.

I'm totally unpredictable though and don't fit in "the box". I met 'G' whilst hostelling a while ago now and we've decided between us to go to The Lyric in a few weeks time. We can then have a social after the event and have something to talk about.

At the end of the day though I think you have to play it by ear and see where the common meeting ground is at first and then push the boundaries.
brisinger  Male  Lancashire
1-Oct-2017 22:29 Message #4702195
Meeting a stranger for the first time the woman must be careful and should meet in a "safe" place. This is not so important for the male - men hardly ever feel threatened.

Unfortunately this is a common misconception perpetuated by the media. Men often feel threatened but society has made it that they are not supposed to show it.
AndyMacG  Male  the West Midlands
1-Oct-2017 22:34 Message #4702197

I didn't say i think the woman would not have to feel comfortable, my emphasis was more about why people think the same doesn't apply to the guys, I totally agree that its imperative that both parties are comfortable with the meeting place.

Personally i'd travel to most places and feel comfortable and when i have i have always made a point that the person i'm meeting chooses the meeting place! :)

Andy Mac

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