Conversation Dating and Relationships
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Players.

And I don't mean the male ones.

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Male
badman  Male  Suffolk
4-Sep-2017 09:29 Message #4700274
After chatting with a lady online for a few weeks, text and email, we decided to meet up.
First thing she confessed to was her age stated was incorrect. She was a bit older. This should have been the first alarm bell.
But, what the heck, she seemed genuine in all other respects so I let it slide.
We had a fantastic day. Chatting and laughing. Discovering all the things we had in common.
And I know you wont believe it, but I behaved the perfect gentleman.
At the end of the day, I drove her home and we both definitely said we wanted to see each other again. She'll check her work schedule and let me know when.

Then... nothing. No return texts, emails, etc.

WTF is wrong with me? Do I smell bad? Am I that ugly?

Why do some women play such petty, nasty games.

The lady(?) in question is not a member and has no connection with this site.

I know there are lots of really genuine women out there who want the same things as I do.

I seem to have a poor judge of character.

OK. Rant over. Move on badman.
Female
joolsy  Female  Essex
4-Sep-2017 10:01 Message #4700276
There's plenty more fish in the sea me lovely friend ... Anyway you doint want a liar ... I get anxious about dating ... Some of the guys try to change me ... One gave me a complex because he turned away when I was going to kiss him ... Anyway badders enjoy your singledom ... Get out there and have plenty of sex and sausage rolls lol :))
Male
Argonaut  Male  Lancashire
4-Sep-2017 10:08 Message #4700278
Badders,

It's sad when you get your hopes up and things don't work out - especially when it looked as though they might.

This situation may not be as onerous as you paint it out to be, she could be a genuine person who just didn't have the courage/decency to tell you that after that first date you weren't the one for her.

If a date happens to be going well then how do yo drop the bombshell: "Thanks but no thanks!" at the end of it.

Having said that, if I went out with a woman who had lied about her age then I'd be wondering what else she had lied about - I just can't understand the mentality of people who can't face up to reality - like how old they really are. Under those circumstances then you're probably better off without her in my opinion.


OR:

Maybe she had a sneak peek on MSE and saw your alter ego - which we all know ain't that bad really!

Or is it?




Jason.
Male
badman  Male  Suffolk
4-Sep-2017 10:10 Message #4700279
I like the idea of the sex bit. Not so sure about the sausage rolls though. I'm trying to lose a bit of weight. XX
Female
bella111  Female  Devon
4-Sep-2017 10:50 Message #4700282
You get players of both sexes and some men lie about their ages even when it is obvious,put it down to experience, I thought you found the love of your life?
Male
zodiac1  Male  Flintshire
4-Sep-2017 11:11 Message #4700286
Giving her a portion on the day would have been a better result than no result.
Male
TheQuiteMan  Male  Lincolnshire
4-Sep-2017 11:41 Message #4700289
sorry to hear that Badman , there a lot of takers in this world mate, don't let it put you off looking, , all best to you
Male
TheQuiteMan  Male  Lincolnshire
4-Sep-2017 11:53 Message #4700290
I meant to say there a lot of givers to out there,
Male
barney  Male  Surrey
4-Sep-2017 12:34 Message #4700292
I tend to agree with Jason.

Some people find it very difficult to say they don't fancy someone or there is no chemistry so go along with a date pretending everything is fine and then do not have the courage to text or e mail to let you know.
This is why I am a great believer in first doing a meet and greet the first time for about an hour for a drink to see if you both have anything in common and if you both like each other. If not you both walk away.
As for lying about her age I think this is fairly common on dating sites by both men and women.

A lot of people have probably experienced what you have so you are not alone.

As the say in the movies, "she is just not into you", so time to move on.
Female
Andromeda  Female  Berkshire
4-Sep-2017 12:37 Message #4700293
It's bad luck badman particularly if everything on the date seems to go well. It's happened to me the same way and it makes you very curious as to why the change of mind. I think a few things are important though.

When people change their mind or make a difficult decision they often simply stop corresponding or even block you. I dont think it's a reflection of anything other than it seems to be acceptable behaviour online and very much the norm. a sign of the times.

As for anyone fibbing about their age. I think women do this a lot more than men but most of my friends , if not all of them, have fibbed about their age or their weight at some time or other. I would guess this applies to 90% of profiles although obviously not profiles on mse.
A similar amount of short men fib about their height.

I dont think many of those fibbing about age, weight ot height see themselves as liars and I would not think of them in that way either.

On the bright side badman you are a handsome chap with a good personality so I wouldn't worry too much.
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
4-Sep-2017 12:43 Message #4700295
"And I know you wont believe it, but I behaved the perfect gentleman. "

Maybe she wasn't looking for a gentleman!


"WTF is wrong with me? Do I smell bad? Am I that ugly? "

Nothing wrong with you, I personally think she did you a favour... You dodged a bullet. As for the other two questions... :D :D :D
Male
TheQuiteMan  Male  Lincolnshire
4-Sep-2017 12:58 Message #4700297
yes you saying she want looking for this and that, BUT she should of still had the decency to tell him
she should of said sorry your not my kind I had a great day BUT I cant see this going any further ,
Female
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire
4-Sep-2017 13:34 Message #4700299
Badders, dont take it to heart. I think you are a really nice guy. I am sure that special person will come along soon. Just throw your chest out and shout "next".

V xx ((hugs)))
Female
sunnyagain  Female  Hampshire
4-Sep-2017 14:28 Message #4700306
It's possible she did like you but only as a friend and lots of people avoid the 'friendszone'. As for lieing about her age, is that better or worse than not recognising the person you meet because their photo online is many, many years old? And then there's the one's arranging to meet more than one person in a queue and it could simply be the next in the queue had just that something extra?
I'm sorry she didn't get back in touch but you had a good day out and, as they say, more fish in the sea-horrible phrase!

Female
Helenuk1963  Female  Gloucestershire
4-Sep-2017 16:18 Message #4700312
I once dated a guy who said he was 45 . His sister let slip his 50th birthday was in a couple of months. I let it go because I liked him. Turned out it wasn't all he'd lied about.
Female
JEM95  Female  Oxfordshire
4-Sep-2017 18:41 Message #4700314
I had the same situation last week. We seemed to hit it off really well.
We had been messaging a lot before we met up.
We had a lovely date, then afterwards I had a message saying 'it was great to meet you xxx' then nothing else since :-(
I've had dates in the past when you know it didn't go well, and there is no question about a part two - but I didn't get that feeling.
Oh well, hey ho!

Look on it as the lady's (!) loss.

I must admit it does knock the old confidence though :-(
Female
Phoenixnights  Female  Nottinghamshire
4-Sep-2017 20:02 Message #4700315
I have had the same many times in the past . Dont try and understand why otherwise you will drive yourself nuts. I think that Jason probably got it right - she couldnt bring herself to be honest and say Thanks but No Thanks.

But ask yourself if you want to start something with a lady who cant be honest ? It doesnt bode well for the future does it ? Just move on and forget it.
Female
RAACH84  Female  Buckinghamshire
4-Sep-2017 20:15 Message #4700318
Most women fib about their age at sometime in their life so no big deal but pity she didn't explain how she felt so you knew where you stood.
Male
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia
4-Sep-2017 20:30 Message #4700319
Sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants.
She lied about her age, presumably, because she feels it makes her more attractive - she attracted you and then bottled out when it looked like it might actually go somewhere.
You'll probably find she will contact you out of the blue when she changes her mind again...
Male
Brundall  Male  Lincolnshire
4-Sep-2017 21:28 Message #4700320
No Relationship is better than a wrong one! with no trust.
Female
hiphop  Female  Staffordshire
5-Sep-2017 10:30 Message #4700334
Whilst I don't condone her behaviour, I am rather perplexed by the title of the thread 'players'. From what you have said, all she has done is fail to contact you or reply to your texts following a first meeting. Why on earth does that make her a player?

Also, she gave you her address (that strikes me as someone very naive) when she barely knew you - why would she risk doing that if she is a player?

I don't know you other than your posts on here and you have always struck me as a genuine sort of fella, but there is something in your post which just doesn't make sense. I'm guessing there is more to this and you are being diplomatic in not revealing the full details, which is fair enough.

Just a thought, perhaps when you dropped her off, you were expecting more and now have a dent in your ego?

Whatever it was, good luck in your quest.
Male
badman  Male  Suffolk
5-Sep-2017 12:02 Message #4700339
She didn't give me her address. I dropped her off where we had arranged to meet, a pub at the end of her road,(I presume).
I wasn't expecting anything else when I dropped her off.
She seemed very enthusiastic about a second date.
And as for my ego, I have never been anything more than what you see, just an ordinary bloke. I don't have an ego to be dented.
Female
hiphop  Female  Staffordshire
5-Sep-2017 12:15 Message #4700340
When you stated 'I drove her home' it's not unreasonable to think you have her address.

I still don't see why any of this makes her a player?

For what it's worth, I had a friend who met a guy on Internet many years ago (nothing to do with anyone on here) and they met at a pub, each driving themselves there. He seemed a nice fella, they chatted and got on well, but she didn't feel any chemistry and decided not to see him again. When they left the pub and were on the car park he asked if they could meet again and she explained that although she had enjoyed his company, there was no spark and she didn't want to mislead him. He flew into a rage, kicked her car and drove off. Luckily a witness saw everything and got his car reg. and police brought about a successful prosecution.
For this reason, I have never told a guy I don't want to see him again until he's left, but I always send a polite text with an excuse. Maybe she had had a similar experience with someone and was just being cautious?
Sad that she didn't have the good manners to at least say she's 'changed her mind'
Male
johntf  Male  Lancashire
5-Sep-2017 14:27 Message #4700346
About this woman maybe she did not want to tell you to your face that she wanted a second date even though she said "She did? "
Its strange though she could not have the decency to reply to you with a definite answer whether she wants to meet again or not as she knew your intentions that you are interested in her.
She may still reply and have a genuine reason why she has not but better not to build up any hopes.
Sadly some people are like this male and female.
You only had the one meeting though and next time you meet a woman hopefully more success.
Good luck.
Male
barney  Male  Surrey
5-Sep-2017 16:24 Message #4700350
Just a thought but I am wondering if she is ok health wise. She might have had an accident on the way home.
Also I know a lady who was fine one day but the next day she was rushed into hospital with a ruptured bowel, underwent a emergency operation and was in intensive care for two weeks.
As I say just thinking outside the box.

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