Conversation Dating and Relationships
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Dating Sites

...think I will give up...

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coffeelover  Female  Norfolk
12-Aug-2016 23:41 Message #4650537
Apart from here, which I tend to think of more as a friendship site now, I have decided that generally dating sites do not work.

Maybe it is just me , in which case I don't understand what I am doing wrong, my profiles are fair, honest, but not tooo honest, pictures etc. But apart from the odd couple of dates ( in about 30 months). I just can not seem to get any 'bites'

Of course I know they can work, I met my last partner, Pete, on here and we had a lovely relationship for nearly seven years. I know I was ten years younger when I met him but I am now on two sites that focus on the more mature person. It seems the guys that want to meet me are rarely those I am attracted too, the ones I take a liking to do not respond to me... Maybe I am too fussy.

Think I am going to stop paying to be demoralised !,,, but then again there is always hope...

I bet now loads of you will tell me your success stories... Perhaps I need to buy shares in the dating industry.
bella111  Female  Devon
13-Aug-2016 00:03 Message #4650539
Well I do not think of this site for dating but I had an unexpected date this week from Somerset, was quite pleasant but has now left the site lol...Dont think it was me!!!suppose to be keeping contact by phone.

Other sites are hit and miss dont rule them out but not holding my breath.
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia
13-Aug-2016 07:43 Message #4650551
I must admit my enthusiasm for pay sites such as match has been severely dampened in recent months.
Maybe it's all too easy now, maybe we are confused and overawed by the sheer amount of possibles that are paraded before our eyes - I do sometimes feel like a kid in a candy shop.
Men will tell you that women don't seem interested in actually dating despite what their profiles say and women will say exactly the same about men. I really don't know what the answer is.
My subscription ran out a couple of months ago and I can't decide if it's worth spending more of my hard earned cash or not...
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
13-Aug-2016 07:58 Message #4650554
I'm still recovering from the last experience.
midi  Female  the Isle of Wight
13-Aug-2016 09:26 Message #4650562
I did meet a guy on a local site who i dated for a while. What I think is, you are meeting people from outside your sphere and for me I didn't realise how much I take for granted that my friends views are on the same wavelength.

i've done the same thing twice, recidivist;

I'm in a morris dancing side. I chat to a guy then he says where are you performing? He'll say 'Oh I'll come along' I say 'Say hello then'
Then not only he doesn't say hello,
but also stops talking to me. I do find that its disappointing to lose that person that perhaps you were checking in with every day.
Next time I'll say lets meet properly.
lucyjordan  Female  Tyne and Wear
13-Aug-2016 09:38 Message #4650564
Dating sites do work, but just for dates. I think they are more suited to younger people, who are not looking for anybody to settle down with, or even commit to.

Young people need to access other young people, and dating sites are one way of doing that. They date each other, enjoy the experience, then as in real life, move on to the next until they actually meet somebody special.

They dont have the tick boxes that older people have, neither do they have the baggage that older people naturally have either.

Ive never used a dating site to look for a partner. I had 37yrs of a committed marriage, and i didnt want to emulate that, or go down the same road as i had already been.

I have met some really nice men, from dating sites, and have had some lovely experiences with many of them, the one thing i made clear from the start was that i wasnt looking for a husband, and i certainly wasnt looking to be somebody's housekeeper.

Keep on dating coffeelover, enjoy the company of males, and if somebody comes along that you feel could be special, then thats a bonus, but have fun in the meantime, and enjoy yourself whilst looking.
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
13-Aug-2016 09:49 Message #4650565
What a refreshing measured viewpoint, Lucy. Actually, you have cheered me up a lot with that post. You have also made me think about what it is that I am looking for.
Mumsie  Female  Warwickshire
13-Aug-2016 11:27 Message #4650573
Well said Lucy , it echoes some of my feelings
Templar2013  Male  South East London
13-Aug-2016 11:41 Message #4650578
Agree with you lucyjordan. Enjoy the moment and what will be will be.
Pixalated  Male  East Anglia
13-Aug-2016 11:45 Message #4650579
In all the years I have been on dating sites (over 15 years now) I have never expected that much from paid or free dating sites, but it must be said I have more replies and actual dates from the paid for sites. I think the older we get the more we have tick boxes and for me at least and the more disenchanted I am with the whole dating thing?
coffeelover  Female  Norfolk
13-Aug-2016 11:48 Message #4650580
Yes I echo Minnie's comments.

I think because my last relationship was so positive ( despite its ending ), I maybe have fairly high expectations. Although having said that I do try to keep an open mind,
coffeelover  Female  Norfolk
13-Aug-2016 11:50 Message #4650581
I understand what you mean Groucho.

I am certainly not going to settle for less than I want, but one has to be able to compromise to a degree...sound like Kirsty looking for a house!
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire
15-Aug-2016 03:01 Message #4650879
The chance of meeting someone who you really want to keep seeing, in whatever capacity is your choice, is probably fairly low, CL, but if you don't put yourself in a position to do so then the chance is none!
The likelihood of winning the Lottery is minimal, but lots of people buy into it, and some here and there will win something.

Guess the point is you 'have to be in it to win it' :)

I agree with the logic of deciding what you're really wanting out of it, and also enjoying the fact that online dating sites can provide friends, social contacts, dates that can be enjoyed without it being "the one" or to lead to anything serious or longterm. Like, for myself, I don't really want to find a relationship that ever goes as far as full on commitment, living together etc, and so dating different people I might meet from online suits me just fine. Go on dates, even if they are not your Mr.Perfect, and enjoy the fun of getting to know them or just a social activity. It won't stop you meeting Mr.Perfect if he's in evidence, and it should make your social life richer.
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
15-Aug-2016 03:31 Message #4650880
That's very true, Cassie. I know that a lot of people on here (including myself) don't think of this site as a dating site, as such, anymore. Not really dates, but through the summer, I have done something most weekends with different people that I originally met through this site and they have become real life friends. I have been to the theatre with them, music gigs, picnics, BBQs, walking, cycling. I would have done those alone otherwise.

Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire
15-Aug-2016 18:14 Message #4650971
Never give up CL. That special person can 'happen' in the most unexpected places.

V x
coffeelover  Female  Norfolk
19-Aug-2016 07:10 Message #4651526
I don't view or use here for dating, if it happened great... However, I did the man I would have spent the rest of my life with here. I guess the outcome proves that I was miss reading that one!

I am not deprecate just would be nice to meet someone special... And I find the 'etiquette ' or lack of it, of online dating to be demoralising.
22-Aug-2016 17:37 Message #4652104
CL, are you "pro-active"? Do you send that first message, or wait for them to come to you?
herbie67  Male  Nottinghamshire
23-Aug-2016 21:13 Message #4652301
i met my partner eight years ago,on the dating direct site,and its still going strong today,i put it down to she was rich.i was skint,jobs a goodun!!!
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire
24-Aug-2016 11:51 Message #4652401
congratulations herbie, :)
i hope she put the fact she was loaded on the profile to make it easy ,lol
Eljer  Male  North London
25-Aug-2016 00:03 Message #4652540
im poor :/ i could have been involved with many rich wimmin, but the thought of being their property kinda puts me off a little bit lol
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire
25-Aug-2016 09:07 Message #4652564
ahh you didnt fancy the postcode stamped on you,lol?
badman  Male  Suffolk
25-Aug-2016 10:25 Message #4652579
This site does work. As some of you know, the fair lady Beamish and I were a couple for 3 lovely years and have remained very good friends since.

I'm now in a relationship with a lady I met on this site. She lives very local to me and see each other every day.

P.S. Neither of us are rich.
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire
25-Aug-2016 11:39 Message #4652607
No wonder the rest of us guys can't find anyone. Badman has em all lol,
Cornishmaid  Female  Cornwall
25-Aug-2016 11:55 Message #4652615
Do you think where you live makes any difference to your success on dating sites? I live in Cornwall and I wonder if the distance puts people off.
Dustybin  Male  Suffolk
25-Aug-2016 12:35 Message #4652622
I think you should change your name coffee lover! Some men don't like coffee.

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