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you have a date tomorrow,last night, today


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eurostar  Female  Merseyside 23-Nov-2018 20:34 Message #4729176
and you like the person and the person likes you.

you have specific plans for xmas and new year already made with family and friends.

the date asks you to give up your plans and go away with them for xmas and new year as that is their plan

what do you do?
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia 23-Nov-2018 20:37 Message #4729179
That's silly, you never start dating anybody until after Christmas or you have to buy them a present...
RoseyCheeks  Female  Nottinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 20:38 Message #4729180
Are we talking Skegness or the Caribbean? ;-)
eurostar  Female  Merseyside 23-Nov-2018 20:48 Message #4729183
lol rosey don't know, forgot to think of
warmundeft  Male  Wrexham 23-Nov-2018 20:53 Message #4729184
Ah Heiro - surely any time is the right time - carpe diem and all that stuff.
But right, Euro poses a dilemma and turns to us for guidance.
So, unless a decision has already been made and validation is being sought, I reckon the idea of 'First come, first served' applies. That is to say that my moral compass would point towards sticking with the earliest made promise.
But maybe there is wriggle room and/or you have understanding family and friends ...
Tough one kidder.
eurostar  Female  Merseyside 23-Nov-2018 20:58 Message #4729185
its my mates dilemma, she has decided to stick to original plans and when she told bloke, remember after one date, he now doesn't want to know her...……..

a person is not just for xmas ya know!
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia 23-Nov-2018 20:58 Message #4729186
OK serious answer - given that, for me, dates are as rare as hen's teeth and it's a long long time since anybody has wanted to go away with me, the date would win...
tumbleweed  Male  Gloucestershire 23-Nov-2018 21:07 Message #4729190
I agree with you mates decision euro. A bit controlling of the bloke, and when I say a bit, I mean a lot. Some people do want the masterful type, but in this case, the fact that he doesn't want to know her now, suggests he is a total plonker. She is well rid of him.
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia 23-Nov-2018 21:11 Message #4729191
Yeah it's one of those subjective things - if she has kids, grand kids etc then it's a bit of a no brainer really. I'm a bloke with no kids, so if a woman asked me to go away for a dirty Christmas I'd be up for it, as it were...
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 21:12 Message #4729193
Yea me too Hierophant. But i think it is unfair for someone to expect you to give up your family if you always spend Christmas with them to go away with them. To me it is a very selfish attitude for them to expect that. The year after yes but not before. Unless of course you ask your family if they would mind you not coming this year. I would feel guilty tho.

I do not see my family at all over thr Christmas Period so it would be ok for me.

Anyone for going on holiday ha ha
eurostar  Female  Merseyside 23-Nov-2018 21:19 Message #4729195
the point I was getting at was family, grandkids whatever, she had made plans...………...he had made plans...………...she should give up hers??? after one date???but he wouldn't give up his or compromise???

so really do you dump family and friends for a person you just met??

I wouldn't...I think that's mega shallow...maybe that's why I,m hey he could just want her for the holidays and dump her after...….would her family and friends be wanted then???
AndyMacG  Male  the West Midlands 23-Nov-2018 21:26 Message #4729198
I haven't made any plans as yet for christmas but then again at this time of year last year i hadn't either and ended up in Egypt for Christmas :)

Andy Mac
RoseyCheeks  Female  Nottinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 21:45 Message #4729199
I think the perfect compromise would be to swing the new guy an invite to wherever she's going, assuming the relationship even lasts that long.
eurostar  Female  Merseyside 23-Nov-2018 21:47 Message #4729200
she did,,,he refused cos he,d made plans to go to Scotland...…….lol

warmundeft  Male  Wrexham 23-Nov-2018 22:19 Message #4729203
Well said tumbleweed. Given the story so far, Rosey's compromise suggestion might well have put him under the spotlight - perhaps inducing a little apprehension ? 'Cos: "You can fool some of the people all of the time ... "

Never mind Bunty - man's clearly an outright cad and dyed-in-the-wool bounder. Hope she told him to shut the door quietly as he left. Here - refresh yourself with a glass of this rather potent sarsaprilla.
fosy  Male  Leicestershire 23-Nov-2018 22:32 Message #4729205
being a shallow bloke with bollox for brains i,d say a bonking holiday over family anytime !

but scotland, at this time of year ?

scotland?...oh come on...

Lulu70  Female  South East London 24-Nov-2018 05:10 Message #4729227
Major red flag...

Your friend should run from this man and not look back.
Nigel_In_Devon  Male  Devon 24-Nov-2018 06:38 Message #4729230
I think things may have worked out for the best for your mate. He has shown himself up to be selfish and a bit of a prat. He may have done your mate a favour by running!

I wouldn't give up Christmas with my family after just 1 date with someone.

Finding someone isn't as a replacement for your family it is to bring someone in to your family.
Lady  Female  North Yorkshire 24-Nov-2018 08:41 Message #4729243
If your friend's new date stopped seeing her after one date, just because she won't fit in with his Christmas plans, it sounds like she's better off without him in her life!

I can't imagine me agreeing to go away on holiday together after just one date but, even if we'd been dating longer, I wouldn't drop pre-arranged commitments I'd made with family & friends and I wouldn't expect him to, either.

I'd already made early plans to spend Christmas with my sister before I met the chap I started dating 8 years ago, in late Sept. Even though we were still dating by Christmas, I wouldn't have cancelled my visit to my sister because she was expecting me. If he had expected me to cancel and fit in with his plans, it would have rung alarm bells for me.
Fortunately, he didn't suggest that and he arranged to spend Christmas with his daughter. If I thought he'd be alone over Christmas, I'd have asked my sis if she would include him in the invitation.
Bewildered  Female  Norfolk 24-Nov-2018 09:35 Message #4729245
So I take it they got intimate on the first date, else would you really ask someone to go away xmas.
Also surely its a bit late to add her name to the travel /hotel etc.
Would he being taking her, or would she be paying for the privilage of keeping him company whilst dumping on her family.

If they were going out (proper) then the plans would have been made together.

Xmas is family time.

Selfish bloke.
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia 24-Nov-2018 10:11 Message #4729246
It depends what his plans are, surely? - if he's talking about taking her to his parent's and meeting all his family then it's odd to say the least.
If he has a hotel/accommodation arranged in Scotland and asked her to drop her plans and join him then it's obvious what he had in mind.
It might be like some on here, who don't have much of a family to spend Christmas with - your friend might have been in that position - so the guy chanced his arm. He got rejected and has clearly moved onto his next quest, after all, there aren't many shopping days until Christmas.
I'm surprised anybody is surprised - stuff like this happens all the time doesn't it?...
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 24-Nov-2018 10:45 Message #4729248
Sounds like your mates had a lucky escape and lucky that she found out after one date before she's had a chance to get more attached or he'd got more entwined in her life.
Judance  Female  Berkshire 24-Nov-2018 11:01 Message #4729250
I have a date ...???
Phoenixnights  Female  Nottinghamshire 24-Nov-2018 13:15 Message #4729274
He sounds like a prat , why would you change your plans to see friends and / or family for someone you have just seem the once ? No contest in my eyes.
Blue-Poppy  Female  East Yorkshire 24-Nov-2018 13:20 Message #4729275
Well I'm going to Ireland for Xmas and NY and not changing it for ANYONE. Looks to me like your friend's date was only after one thing and would probably do a vanishing act after Xmas anyway.

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