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Death, savings children.

Scratching my head.

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JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 23-Aug-2018 09:41 Message #4723808
I am approaching retirement and do not have much savings but since I have paid into an NHS Pension and can claim my state pension next July I will stop paying National Insurance (I think).

Sorry to mention my disabled adults again, but it plays on my mind, that I am mortgaged on a 3 bed home I would not otherwise need, to support them.

I have been looking at the cost of funerals and would like to save generically, not specifically for a funeral, but somehow where I might get tax relief as well as where it would be in an account where my children could access it quickly, should I pop my cloggs unexpectedly.

I don't want to pay into one of these plans just for a funeral, but I'd like the cheapest send off possible and environmentally friendly.

Since funerals are becoming a scary and very expensive issue, wouldn't it be a good idea (if there isn't something already) to encourage people to save with tax relief?

Your thoughts please. (serious rather than humorous)
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 23-Aug-2018 10:44 Message #4723810
Make a will, the solicitor will be able to make disbursements for costs such as funeral expenses until the will has gone through the probate court, that can take a while even with a simple and clear will, my dads took nearly a year. Would it be better to use any savings to pay off as much of your mortgage as possible? Or to move to an area where house prices are cheaper and could possibly be a self financing move, I know its an upheaval, but it could be worth it in terms of relief from debt, better quality of life etc, I don't know what house prices are like where you are, but round here you could get a really nice place for less that 200k, near the sea but not remote.
Judance  Female  Berkshire 23-Aug-2018 10:47 Message #4723813
I was told a cash ISA would be better than saving in a funeral plan.
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 23-Aug-2018 19:31 Message #4723875

I can't move because my son's only support is in this area. I might be able to pay off my mortgage with NHS lump sum.

Judance, I might go down the ISA route. Seems the best flexible option.
brisinger  Male  Lancashire 23-Aug-2018 20:32 Message #4723882
Create a 'Disabled Persons Trust' in a Will. That way on your death assets can be put in Trust in order to protect 'vulnerable' members of your family but will not be counted as Capital. Essentially it puts any assets "at arms length" as the accountants put it.

It's also worth making sure you have a Lasting Power of Attorney in place. Something we all tend to put off. This is useful if there comes a time when you can’t manage your finances any more or choose not to. The person you appoint as your attorney will be able do these things for you if you so choose without being liable for prosecution. You can limit things they can do or place conditions on what they can do. Health & Welfare LPA's only allow an attorney to make decisions if there comes a time when you can't. It doesn't give anybody carte blanche.
brisinger  Male  Lancashire 23-Aug-2018 20:37 Message #4723883
The problem with cash ISA's is that they are counted as capital. Pre-paying for a funeral is not.
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 23-Aug-2018 21:01 Message #4723889
The problem Bris, is I need to save, but not necessarily for a funeral...or not my own...or maybe help my eldest should he need a deposit for his own place...or Dignitas so my home won't be taken to pay for care as my kids need a roof.

I should make a will, but I'd like to make a living will as well as the Power of Attorney thing.
Judance  Female  Berkshire 23-Aug-2018 23:27 Message #4723891
I have done the Power of Attorney for both Finance and Health & Welfare as they really need to be in place before you start to lose your marbles.
You must make a will, Lyn.

I'm lucky enough to have a solicitor specialising in Wills and Probate as my daughter-in-law, so I get advice from the horse's mouth

... not that my DIL is a horse!
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 24-Aug-2018 10:34 Message #4723907
Lyn, you're asking for advice and suggestions but so far everything thats been suggested you've said can't happen. I know you feel stuck and you're not a person without resourses, but see a solicitor, get the legal side sorted out or at least find out what your options are, go away and think about them.

I know people like your son hate any sort of change, but change is the only constant in life, I'm sure there are other places with similar support networks as your son now enjoys and there may even be some that are better, wouldn't the National Autism Society or whatever they call themselves now have some information? They may also be a good place to start looking for a friendly solicitor to help you with the legal side of things.
brisinger  Male  Lancashire 24-Aug-2018 11:09 Message #4723914
I never thought I'd say this but it may be worth looking in to getting the cost of an accountant. Pannone put me in touch with Adroitfp when I won a clinical negligence case against Hope Hospital and they have been worth their weight in gold. There's wrinkles that you and I are unaware of that they can invest capital in which are tax efficient. If you can find an amount to invest then annual the cost of handling your affairs is far less than the return on your investment. If you have a look around you may find some that run a free initial session to get a handle on whether it's worth it or not. You usually get a much better return on your investment than high street banks and can make it so that you can access funds if you need to. Often if you get a lump sum when you retire the advice can pay dividends.

My brother found that just about not paying off a mortgage can be more cost effective because the bank was paying to hold the deeds, something that if you own property outright you may find you have to pay to have them stored.
brisinger  Male  Lancashire 24-Aug-2018 11:30 Message #4723916
I'd consider contacting someone who specialises in disability Trusts. I've not had problems with Adroitfp...yet and they do have specialist in that field. You can find out more at:
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 24-Aug-2018 21:45 Message #4723976
Thanks Bris, I might give that a look.
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 24-Aug-2018 21:49 Message #4723978

I couldn't bring myself to tear him away from the few people he has found he can trust.

I appreciate any suggestions, but it doesn't mean I don't or haven't considered them.

My posts were to initiate conversation. But you're right, I am stuck, sometimes happily, sometimes desperately. The buddhist philosophy of living in the moment often helps. Don't worry about what has not yet happened kind of thing.
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 24-Aug-2018 21:58 Message #4723982

Even though I see the logic and urgency of a Will, my oldest sister and I, even though she is usually really sensible over money, both find ourselves with complex children and making a Will just doesn't seem to offer anything, if we cannot tell a solicitor what to leave.

I had looked into MIND and various charities who offer free Wills, but they all really want a cut from what I would leave my children.

It all just goes round in circles because two of three are on benefits so they would lose their entitlement until the worth of my house is gone, or be made homeless because my eldest son would be entitled to a share, and he is struggling himself, on a dodgy private rental.

It is possible my middle son with autism could get supported housing, also his younger sister, then I would sell and move down to a 1 or 2 bed, but they help each other and are company for each other so we plod on as we are.

wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 25-Aug-2018 10:46 Message #4724012
Lyn have you talked to him about it? I don't know where you live now if you're in a town or more rural, but if he finds crowds a problem then he may find somewhere more rural restful, to be able to look out of a window and not see other humans, it may even encourage him to open the curtains and venture outside. You feel like theres enough air to go around in the countryside, you're not so hemmed in with humans and their clutter, and yet there is still plenty of life.
Clocky  Female  the West Midlands 25-Aug-2018 12:57 Message #4724028
You could leave your body to science/medical research (I'd like mine to go to a body farm) which would solve the funding a funeral problem.
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 25-Aug-2018 21:42 Message #4724063
Leaving your body to science is not guaranteed. If they reject it for any reason, you need a plan B. That brings me to another potential thread. I had looked into brain research a while ago. You have to start when you are healthy and they track you for dementia. I haven't the courage to want to know!
Clocky  Female  the West Midlands 25-Aug-2018 21:48 Message #4724064
Ooh ... I wonder why they reject people??
I can see I'm going to have to do some research on this!
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 25-Aug-2018 21:48 Message #4724065
WH, I live on the boundary of Cheshire and Manchester, virtually on the M60. It's very flat and good for cycling and in spite of me working across the city, we have lots of country too.

My son is reclusive other than very familiar habits such as aforementioned, The Salvation Army. His car did 400 miles last year doing this voluntary work. Twice a month he will drive to his autism meeting where he seems to have befriended an older guy who is obsessed with guitars and has bought 13 of them (Not quite as many as my partner!)

I love it when my son chuckles. At the SA he had to answer requests for Christmas presents one year and one child had written Dear Satan instead of Dear Santa (just had to tell you that).
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 25-Aug-2018 21:50 Message #4724066
My mother was rejected because she became too frail. That was to become a cadaver for surgery practice. I think they have a lot of applicants.
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire 27-Aug-2018 07:28 Message #4724215
Regarding the funeral aspect, I have always thought they are a total waste of money, so have saiid I want a cardboard coffin, absolutely no frills, and cremation - which is far cheaper than burial. The largest expense involved is actually the plot and headstone if buried, which is paid to the council, because they own the land. Its considerably cheaper with no headstone.
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire 27-Aug-2018 07:33 Message #4724216
Worrying about what happens once you are gone can be a big headache and you seem to have many things to worry about. Therefore to rid this worry you MUST sort it now, or it will ruin your quality of life. See a solicitor for ADVICE ONLY at first (and you can go to several different ones to get lots of info and take notes whilst there) and this will give you fodder for thought until you have in your mind a sensible plan for all concerned.
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire 27-Aug-2018 07:35 Message #4724217
You will only stop paying National Insurance if you stop working - you can still work AND get a pension.
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 27-Aug-2018 10:23 Message #4724238
Cardboard coffins are more expensive than cheap wooden ones, we were amazed at that when it came to my dads cremation, I agree its mad the cost of them. A green burial is more expensive, but more environmentally friendly as you tend to be burried in as little as a shroud and allowed to return to the earth, most people have a tree planted and it gives a nice focus for anyone who wants to come and remember you.
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire 27-Aug-2018 12:38 Message #4724264
WH: Did u search the web for cardboard coffins? A lot of F/Directors just try 2 charge more and just say exactly what u have said!! And if you are "in a dream" (which a lot of ppl are, having just lost a loved one) you might not take a lot of notice. SHOPPING AROUND is what I suggest !!! Its like anything else, there are rip-em-offsky in all walks of death!! Last time I checked they were approx £2.99 yes, not £300 but £2.99p It was a while ago I admit - will check it out again . . .

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