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Killing the forum

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Male
CircusMaximus  Male  North Yorkshire
1-Jun-2020 18:55 Message #4781859
There is absolutely no doubt that arguments and negativity are what kills a forum. It drives regular contributors away and prevents new members from joining in.

Who looks forward to logging on so they can join in a slagging match where the small number of contributors are not just arguing but name calling and making snide remarks.

Inevitably it is a political thread which creates the divisions and as one of these thread plays like a game of tennis with nasty comments going back and forth other members don't feel much like putting on their happy posts. I know some say we dont have to read the nasty comments or read the nasty threads but that is often said by those contributing to the arguments.

It is the same on all sites and I'm on a few. Just recently one thread has dominated the forum with just a handfull of contributors and can one single person - anyone- just one - say they read it or contributed to it and it was an enjoyable experience?

We have a lovely bunch of contributors and posts such as 'How many pillows do you use' to 'Dragon 12 metres from I.S.S' are enjoyable my most of us although very different.

We also have contributors who rarely, if ever, make an appearance unless it's to start an argument or fuel an argument. How can that make sense on a dating and friendship site.

Maybe others disagree with me and that's fine.
Female
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd
1-Jun-2020 19:00 Message #4781861
I agree with you CM, I think there are a lot of people in the world who could start an argument in an empty room and they all seem to flock here! I think its sad that some don't seem to happy unless they've been hurtful to others or rubbished their thoughts or feelings or both, what sad sacks they are.
Female
eurostar  Female  Merseyside
1-Jun-2020 19:12 Message #4781863
It's like the real world then lol the best part of the Internet is you can block, it can ruin a forum like it ruins an atmosphere in a pub
Male
tumbled  Male  Gloucestershire
1-Jun-2020 19:23 Message #4781864
These things come up time and time and time again.....

and time and time and time again.....I respond with the same sort of stuff.....

Believe it or not, I don't like argument threads......political or whatever.....Some would disagree with my statement....but that's up to them....

I mention time and time again about the 'popular' threads that attract the posts.....Hundreds of posts.....

I sometimes try to start some lighthearted ones.....and they attract very very little.....people are just not interested in posting to many lighthearted threads....not just mine.....but other peoples as well....

I have very little in common with anyone on here, it seems......I have so many interests, but not many interested...

I blocked 6 people last week.....First time ever......They should know who they are.......and I would appreciate them blocking me also.....so we never have to come into contact at all.......It'll certainly keep me away from any annoying spats.......Arguing just changes my mood from good to bad......I prefer not to do it....
Male
MrQuiet  Male  Northamptonshire
1-Jun-2020 22:00 Message #4781873
It can be like watching a Punch and Judy show in the lobby of the Hotel California.
Male
terry  Male  West Yorkshire
1-Jun-2020 22:12 Message #4781876
Holds hands up and pleads guilty, an enjoyable experience? absolutely not, and definitely do not disagree with you.
Female
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire
2-Jun-2020 00:40 Message #4781886
It takes a great deal of skill not to get sucked into other people's dramas and the choice is often not to engage, at all. So, yes, I do agree with you Maximus.

And you are right, you find it everywhere; online, work, home sometimes. Some people have to make everything about them, by hook or by crook. Indifference is the real killer and a lot of what you see online is because the only way they can get people's attention is if they can make people angry. It's that kind of constant needling that makes me lose respect for people and turns me off.
Male
Pboro Trevor  Male  Cambridgeshire
2-Jun-2020 08:59 Message #4781891
There are a number of trolls on MSE.

I don't even bother looking at their threads

Trevor
Male
MrQuiet  Male  Northamptonshire
2-Jun-2020 19:00 Message #4781947
It only takes one!!!!
Male
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire
2-Jun-2020 23:35 Message #4781969
I think its sad that some don't seem to happy unless they've been hurtful to others or rubbished their thoughts or feelings or both, what sad sacks they are.

Sad sacks LOLOL.
Female
Gilpin  Female  Middlesex
2-Jun-2020 23:42 Message #4781970
Saddos come in all shapes and sizes.
Male
MrQuiet  Male  Northamptonshire
3-Jun-2020 09:52 Message #4781986
You know a few then Gilpin lol.
Male
FirmButFair-TrollPatrol  Male  North Yorkshire
3-Jun-2020 11:32 Message #4782001
The post by Circus Maximus is possibly the best I have seen on this subject.

When starting a thread it should be done with some responsiblily and for discussion not an attempt to incite anger or hatred.

If I start a thread headed "President ABC is a murderer" and subtitled "we should rally and be violent" then the only option is for a heated argument and there are a few posters who do start their threads in this way.
If the same thread was headed "Is President ABC getting it all wrong" and sub titled "What is your opinion" then it would invite discussions.

The second option wouldn't get as many posts unless someone decided that is what they wanted but it might get more posters offering their opinions. On the argumentative threads most of the level headed posters only offer their opinion and perhaps a second post of explanantion but by far the majority of posts are just malicious nonsense.
Male
Beach  Male  Dorset
3-Jun-2020 12:22 Message #4782004
I find self important folk who name and present themselves as unofficial arbiters of a forum site to be nearly as offensive as traditional trolls.

Male
Colonel_Blink  Male  Buckinghamshire
3-Jun-2020 13:40 Message #4782011
No shortage of self important folk here Beach. haha.
Female
KatieBubbles  Female  West Sussex
3-Jun-2020 13:47 Message #4782013
This thread has been an enjoyable read so far. Well presented by Circus Maximus with many interesting posts especially the one by FirmButFair regarding the starting of threads which I thought was a very good point.
Male
persona_non_grata  Male  North London
3-Jun-2020 23:42 Message #4782058
I keep looking and expecting someone to come along and post something to antagonise but I'm a bit of a pessimist.
Male
MrQuiet  Male  Northamptonshire
4-Jun-2020 20:00 Message #4782125
png. You tempted fate but it was bound to happen. There are always one or two who cannot bear to see a happy forum.
Female
NoSaint  Female  Devon
5-Jun-2020 22:37 Message #4782297
Maglorian has appeared a few times today in various guises. The one man cabal killing the forum with his nasty vindictive posts.
Female
Sea  Female  Essex
5-Jun-2020 23:01 Message #4782299
CM you are correct, arguments and negativity do kill off a forum. There have been a few threads that I may have posted on but haven't, when I have seen them become dominated by one or two bad apples, giving everyone the pip. When you see several extremely long winded rants, it can be extremely off putting. And you just know that if you were to post anything, you would then become the target of their next rant, so you don't. Also too many threads that have nothing to do with politics, suddenly seem to become very political. Not everyone shares the same opinions, we know that but one can respect their views on things, without turning everything into a slagging match. People have feelings and can end up getting very upset by things said. Some posters would do well to remember that before clicking 'send' and up setting more than the apple cart.
Male
Colonel_Blink  Male  Buckinghamshire
7-Jun-2020 10:55 Message #4782453
I agree with all the posts. Long winded c&p posts, rants and negativity are off putting.
Male
tumbled  Male  Gloucestershire
7-Jun-2020 11:14 Message #4782469
I agree with all the posts. Long winded c&p posts, rants and negativity are off putting.

I only do short winded c&p..........so I should be ok......
Male
Colonel_Blink  Male  Buckinghamshire
10-Jun-2020 11:25 Message #4782913
It's very noticeable when you get a period of normality on the forum. The past few days have seen very differing opinions on food, statues, slavery, BLM, protests, animal welfare and many more. Opinions discussed and other opinions given. Some very interesting threads in my opinion, particularly on the protests and statue incidents. Nobody deliberately trying to coerce others into arguments.
Male
FirmButFair-TrollPatrol  Male  North Yorkshire
11-Jun-2020 23:17 Message #4783111
It looks as if the worst troll has been blocked by so many members his/her posts are of little consequence making the forum a better place for intelligent debate.
Male
brisinger  Male  Lancashire
12-Jun-2020 13:14 Message #4783187
This site seems particularly ripe for the picking for bear baiting. Time and time again I see people respond in just the same way as the poster intends with the same kind of thing but insist that they don't like arguments. The longest threads inevitably end up a hot bed for a slanging match and the usual few tend to fall for it every time. I sometimes wonder why I return because it's a far cry from what it was like when I first joined when we had group meets abroad and people looking to date but using the safety of meets to meet up or just meet up to and friendships. Now it seems to be full of armchair bandits which is why I'm much more active in other more friendly groups.

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