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Alex Salmond believes women consented to sexual contact, jury hears.

The Guardian today.

Male
Beach  Male  Somerset 9-Mar-2020 16:19 Message #4772320
Blimey. I wonder how his wife feels regarding that admission ... unless ... it was a situation they mutually allowed to take place over several years.
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OK. Lets not focus on a trial that has just started this morning but please tell me how it feels to CHEAT on a partner or lover or how it feels to be CHEATED on by a partner or lover you assumed only ever had eyes for you.

I've never done it and I've never experienced it being done to me but as I have often voiced in the past, I regard the act of CHEATING to be, just about, the most dreadful and underhand act that someone can do to another human being. (The heartbreaking let down of trust being just one of several devastating consequences of having an errant loved one humiliate or break their own partners world apart).

For starters; a CHEATER has to lie ... be duplicitous ... be sneaky ... be deceitful.

They also have to lack respect of others and have lack of self respect for themselves.

And they have to be kidding themselves in the construction of the lies and the imaginary scenarios they present in order to steal the time or place to share their body fluids with somebody other than their bonafide partner.

CHEATERS? You are lower than a snake. You are cowards. You are selfish ... and you are so weak minded that you allow your libido to make decisions for yourself! (I use the word libido because cheating isn't just a male thing about boys / men being governed by their dxcks).
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I shall follow the Salmond trial with interest.
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region 9-Mar-2020 19:49 Message #4772361
"unless ... it was a situation they mutually allowed to take place over several years."

I'd probably say this is the case. I think wives of high powered/high earning/ rich and famous men, often will turn a blind eye to the mans sexual conquests, provided they aren't public affairs.

As for cheaters Beach, I would say I disagree more than agree with you on your assessment on cheaters. I could never cheat on a serious partner. However, I feel like I could be lead astray..... quite easily but the right woman. Call it/me what you wish. I'm not shy about admitting this, and I know it could happen...... so if in a relationship, I wouldn't put myself in a position where this could happen easily.

I recall being in a group of guys and hearing of how a man cheated on his GF. How did it happen?.... He went back to a girls house as part of a group, people all left, he was asked if he would like to stay for a coffee, he accepted. She seduced him, took some clothes off, and.... that was him! I would have been the same if she was attractive enough. Difference being, I'd have left with the group, before she seduced me and got naked. Get out before the point of no return so to speak. It would be easier for me to say no to a coffee, than it would be to say no to sex, from a eager, naked, attractive woman stood in front of me.

Having said that I would never tolerate/forgive a cheater. I don't care what the excuses, what the circumstances, how much drink, or how rich/tall/ripped he was. It is the end.
Male
Beach  Male  Somerset 9-Mar-2020 20:12 Message #4772365
You make some good / interesting points, Bob, and you and I seem to agree on the fundamentals.

I suppose, technically, a single guy (or girl) being seduced by someone isn't anything to fuss about ... from their point of view BUT if the person doing the seducing were already in a monogamous relationship, I'd offer that my previous, judgmental, comments would still apply! ;)
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region 10-Mar-2020 10:16 Message #4772403
"BUT if the person doing the seducing were already in a monogamous relationship, I'd offer that my previous, judgmental, comments would still apply! ;)"

Agreed.

Do you believe there are certain characteristics in a person that would indicate they are prone to cheating?
Male
BOYDEL  Male  Surrey 10-Mar-2020 13:50 Message #4772411
Wholly agree Bob that many wives with a high earning husband will put up with almost anything as long as the high end lifestyle is maintained and they are not having their noses rubbed in any infidelity. That will especially apply for those wives who are neither independently wealthy nor have potential for high earnings so would not want to get a divorce and accept a lower living standard - as well as a potentially lonely life which is more likely the older they are. Same will probably apply in converse where a husband is not the main breadwinner.

The pop star Rod Stewart has an interesting take on the permanency of the marriage vows - ie that they were initiated in medieval era when most people were dead by age 30/40 so they hardly had time to evolve in to different personalities from that which they had on meeting/marrying.

In practice around half of all first marriages end in divorce - and a higher proportion of subsequent marriages - and infidelity will be high on the list for underlying reasons along with money problems.
Male
Beach  Male  Somerset 10-Mar-2020 14:37 Message #4772416
"Do you believe there are certain characteristics in a person that would indicate they are prone to cheating?" asks Bob.

I think so. Yes.

Thing is; I view this from a position of being blessed with a love story for 20 yrs and it was business, not another woman, that eventually lay at the core of my own marriage issues - though 20 years after divorce, Jackie and I are friends and thick as thieves again. :-)

Only a personal view but I think strong loving couples get spared from breakups involving third parties and would just add that marriages need to be worked at though if a marriage is going to fail, end it first, amicably, (that's what J and I did), rather than have an affair.
Female
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire 10-Mar-2020 15:08 Message #4772419
Every high powered man I have ever worked with, tried it on with me over the years. Sometimes to the point of me leaving the job. Its the power thing, not only does it go to their heads, it goes to their LOINS as well. I enjoyed working with high powered men, wegot on well workwise, but they always got too heavy. I only fell for one, he was single but I wasnt, and it turned out to be a disaster anyway. He was a rat.... a very powerful one too.
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region 10-Mar-2020 15:26 Message #4772423
"Same will probably apply in converse where a husband is not the main breadwinner."

Could do. I'd offer a different spin on this situation....If the womans earnings far exceeds her husbands, I'd foresee her "monkey branching" to another higher status man. I don't think a husband would be likely to allow his wife to sleep around if she is high power/status. High powered/status/earning women, will still not date down. I think it would be unlikely for a high flying female lawyer to be married to a janitor or a factory worker, even in the event of this, I still couldn't see him allowing her a free pass.

I think in the instances of the husband allowing his wife to cheat will be for his own sexual fulfillment. Meaning he likes seeing his wife with other men. Or he is so weak minded, such low self esteem, that he turns a blind eye to her extra marital affairs because he thinks no other woman will have him.
Male
BOYDEL  Male  Surrey 10-Mar-2020 18:22 Message #4772427
Quite a few married women can have over the years worked their way up to a senior role in a company - rather than having started off earning lots more than her modestly paid husband, though lots of say divorced middle aged women will be seeking a high earning/wealthy new partner so as to maintain financial security.

The latter group may have many women who gave up say 20 of their best potential earning years to look after kids etc and with the wage/price ratio of property now being far higher

Back in say 1995 a nice Home Counties semi was around 4 to 5 times the average wage versus 15 fold the average wage in 2020 - and yes those numbers will mean any switched on lone parent will both want and need a wealthy partner.
Male
Orson  Male  Tayside 10-Mar-2020 19:56 Message #4772429
One hopes that the high powered women will use eco friendly emissions.
Female
Topaz53  Female  Northamptonshire 12-Mar-2020 11:27 Message #4772541
During my extensive working life,
I have been sexually assaulted by the head of a residential centre for youths, our manager and a policeman who often popped in regarding some of the residents.... all men in powerful positions, I'd say.

So you tell me, who would I report that too??
The head, the manager or the police?
Hmmm difficult one that, considering I lone worked most of the time, was sleep deprived and drugged on one occasion when I slept over.....throwing up saved me that night.

Even my own husband said I must be encouraging the head and when I told the women night worker, she said
" I thought you were having an affair with him "....
That was after she saw him fondling me !!

No chance... I left before my maternity leave was up...and guess what these men would all have been police checked...
I used to think at least it's me and not the kids....or was it ????
Again who would even believe
" disturbed teenagers "

I'm not going to judge anyone before this trail, but IF he is found guilty I hope he rots in jail.
Female
NoSaint  Female  Devon 12-Mar-2020 15:55 Message #4772552
I'm not going to judge anyone before this trail, but IF he is found guilty I hope he rots in jail.

Very fair comment.
Female
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 12-Mar-2020 17:57 Message #4772553
Without condoning anything he had done, life is not so simple.

With some exceptions, men seem to be much more prone to self deception on being "fancied". I just think many men and some women don't actually know the boundaries most of us assume.

I've come across this in some studies on paedophilia where again, it's mostly men who are sexually programmed, or not programmed right, to know the boundaries. I've actually spoken with Professor David Wilson (criminologist) on this.

Then, on the original point life is not always straightforward. A wealthy male friend adores his complex wife who we suspect is psychopathic and although extremely clever she has one affair after another and he behaviour seems out of control. She holds down high powered jobs (as does he) but her brain seems to seek the additional excitement and alter life.

Then I've met women whose partners have roamed but the women I refer to seem nightmares to live with.

Not in all cases, but I think in many instances of "cheating" it's something that creeps up rather than sought out then the deception starts with self deception and or trying to protect the person being cheated on. Every situation is different and often very complex.
Female
NoSaint  Female  Devon 14-Mar-2020 15:36 Message #4772647
A very good post JustLyn. It’s a complex subject with every case being different.

Male
Maglorian  Male  North Yorkshire 16-Mar-2020 19:52 Message #4772863
Breaking news!
Alex Salmond has been formally acquitted of a charge of sexual assault after the Crown offered no evidence.
Male
mancers  Male  Greater Manchester 18-Mar-2020 14:16 Message #4772999
They must have been desperate IF they consented.
Male
Wandering4fun  Male  North Yorkshire 18-Mar-2020 18:20 Message #4773013
Excellent post from JustLyn. Not everything is as obvious as the media would like us to think.
Male
Goody2shoes  Male  Nottinghamshire 20-Mar-2020 21:02 Message #4773163
Jury is still considering verdict.
Male
Colonel_Blink  Male  Buckinghamshire 20-Mar-2020 23:08 Message #4773176
No justice system can be perfect or always guarantee the correct verdict but our jury system is probably as good as it gets for providing a fair trial.
Female
Greencare  Female  Berkshire 21-Mar-2020 09:36 Message #4773199
If I was involved in a criminal case whether I was victim or perpetrator and could choose any country for the trial I would choose here in the uk.
Female
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire 21-Mar-2020 09:44 Message #4773205
I agree definitely, Greencare
Male
Seasons-Greetings  Male  Essex 23-Mar-2020 21:54 Message #4773532
Well he was acquitted of all charges.
So that's the end of that.
Male
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia 23-Mar-2020 21:57 Message #4773533
And now watch the SNP rip itself apart, Salmond is out for revenge....
Male
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia 23-Mar-2020 22:03 Message #4773534
And I would add the Police and Prosecutor Fiscal in Scotland must have some questions to answer, they clearly thought there was a strong case yet he was acquitted on all 13 or 14 charges. A major miscalculation by someone....
Male
Goody2shoes  Male  Nottinghamshire 23-Mar-2020 22:59 Message #4773537
Yes totally acquitted, and claims that more evidence will become public in the future.

Quite often in such cases, the defendant is not allowed to use evidence that would prove their innocence.
Very often on a technicality.

Well done the ladies concerned, your identities will remain secret, for a while.


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