Conversation The Common Room
Helper icon Helpers: Chris2mates , LLstill , PrincessFruitBat


About us

Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

The Importance of....

a persons Voice!

1 2 Next   Last  

Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
2-Jan-2020 09:19 Message #4767114
Hello people!

And a very Happy New Year to all of you.

I wanted to add my own little take on Topaz thread on accents, and helium hehehe

We have seen threads on here about what draws, attracts or repels us from potential partners. From how kind and generous they are, to how tall or how heavy they are, they hair they have on the head or elsewhere on them, we even discussed their sexual history.....

I have always known a womans voice is kind of important in being over all attractive to me, but the other week I discovered the voice is much more important that I first though, then I got thinking, voice is much more important in general as well.

The other week I delivered to a place, I put the truck on the bay and I walked into the warehouse to begin unloading, waiting for me was about 6-8 warehouse workers waiting to take the stuff from me, to designated areas within the warehouse. I walked in and pretty much right past them, none of them stood out at all. As I was unloading the trailer I heard thee most heavenly voice. As I was bringing the stuff off the trailer I was trying to see where this lovely noise came from. Then I heard the cutest, loveliest laugh I've heard in quite some time. I quickly identified the source. A small woman, probably 5ft tall, little bit chunky, dark brown hair, early to mid 20's, with a very average face. I'd say upon assessing her looks she was a 4/10. As I emptied the trailer, I could hear her sitting there talking away to another woman..... (as the men did the work I might add). Her voice truly was amazing! So amazing I quickly upgraded her to about an 8/10!!! an 8/10!!! This voice put her up 4 points on the scale, doubled her score in fact! I was actually quite sad to leave, I could honestly have listened to her all night long. What the hell is going on? Is a voice really that important in attraction?

This then got me thinking a lot more on voices....

I work with a guy, a very accomplished driver, an award winning driver actually. He is small in stature, as in he is about 5ft8 and very slim. He is around 55ish. We walked into a customers premises, into an office and he had a issue with something. He asked the two men behind the desk about it, and they blatantly ignored him! Completely blanked him. He repeated himself, and they looked at each other and continued to blank him. He then said to them "I'm not going nowhere until you deal with me..... I'll just stand here!" and stood there he did...... And continue to ignore him they also did. Now this driver has a slightly high pitched voice, a bit like a little yappy dog. I've been in there a million times and the two guys have never, ever disrespected me like that. Got me thinking..... Was it his voice? When I speak to them I'm loud, my voice is deeper, and I do curse quite a bit! Was this disrespectful attitude down to his voice?

When I was in my teens my Mum had a friend, she was a very average looking woman for her age of 40ish. She had a very deep, raspy, husky voice, almost like she has been smoking cigars and drinking whiskey since she was 7 year old. She would pick up the phone and would be thought of as a man. She even said once she freezes up when meeting new people, as her voice is too manly. It was a very manly voice. Did she realize what I'm discovering now? That voice is VERY important.

Even my dog.... English Bull Terrier, Very muscular dog, large thick neck, strong chest, chiseled rump and back legs, really looks the part, until he barks! He has the build of a bull, but the bark of a wee terrier!!! Thank god he doesn't bark often hehehehe

Over to you guys.....

Am I over thinking the whole voice thing?

Gentlemen, if you met a lovely looking, very nice woman, but she sounded like a man.... Would it be enough to repel you?

Ladies, If you met a good looking guy, and he was what you are looking for, then he opened his mouth and sounded like he hadn't been through puberty..... Would you over look this?
Male
persona_non_grata  Male  North London
2-Jan-2020 09:33 Message #4767115
I feel I should be saying that’s a load of tosh but I absolutely agree. Men with squeaky voices are definitely treated less respectfully, particularly by other me. I’m not so sure about women with husky voices although I did date a nice young lady with a voice which sounded as if it should belong to a cartoon character .. thankfully I soon got used to it.

Bob. How about a squeaky car/truck horn? Do you get out of the way for a feminine toot?
Female
Sea  Female  Essex
2-Jan-2020 10:07 Message #4767118
I totally agree. The sound of somebodies voice and the way they speak can make a huge difference. Somebody may well be drop dead gorgeous but if the moment they open their mouth, they sound common and brash, with nothing intelligent to say, it would be a big turn off. On the other hand somebody may only look average, but if a lovely voice and interesting personality, with interesting intelligent conversation they would swiftly rise in my esteem. You do have to continually listen to somebody you are with and if you do not like the sound of their voice, then clearly a huge turn off. As they say, you cannot always judge a book by its cover.
Female
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd
2-Jan-2020 10:37 Message #4767122
There are quite a few voices that really annoy me, Rebecca Long Bailey's voice really annoys me, she's shouty.

Men with soft voices I quite like but I'm not so keen on a man with a higher pitched voice either, but then I don't like men with really loud deep voices either, they sound like fog horns, some women have really loud fog horn like voices too, for some reason they always seem to speak with quite a posh accent and make me think of of Bertie Wooster and his aunts, they terrify me.

I have quite a deep roughish voice and am often mistaken for a man on the phone, but it dosen't really bother me.
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
2-Jan-2020 12:39 Message #4767134
"Bob. How about a squeaky car/truck horn? Do you get out of the way for a feminine toot?"

Well that's another area of sound I never thought of. Merc Axor/Actros trucks used to have silly little car horns. I don't know why trucks need louder horns than cars, but it's good to have a loud horn. I never beeped once at anyone whilst driving a big truck with a crap wee horn. I did drive an Iveco Stralis down Great Western Road in Glasgow at about 4-5pm on a Friday night in summer.... That truck had a two tone train horn fitted! Needless to say I blasted that fecker every opportunity I got! Hehehehe

I very rarely get tooted at..... even when I do, it's water off a ducks back.


"I feel I should be saying that’s a load of tosh but I absolutely agree."

Just out of curiosity.... Why did you feel you should think it's a load of Tosh?
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
2-Jan-2020 12:43 Message #4767135
"You do have to continually listen to somebody you are with and if you do not like the sound of their voice, then clearly a huge turn off. "

Yes I completely agree.

I could have listened to her taking for hours. I'd like to get her details and pass them on to Audable! Hehehe
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
2-Jan-2020 12:48 Message #4767138
"There are quite a few voices that really annoy me, Rebecca Long Bailey's voice really annoys me, she's shouty."

Had to Google her, listened to her talk..... Neither for or against her.

"some women have really loud fog horn like voices too, "

Yes, I'll quote myself, possibly from another thread on here... "If you are the loudest person in the room, and you are a woman..... You're doing something wrong!"
Male
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia
2-Jan-2020 13:14 Message #4767141
Corbyn's voice annoys the hell out of me, especially when he gets all screechy, but I still have a thing for Laura Pidcock and her Geordie accent.
Around these parts we seem to be plagued by young bleached blonde women with really husky voices, I have no idea where the huskiness has come from, I'm sure young women never talked like that when I was younger - maybe it's the fumes from the hair bleaching.
It's a very subtle version of the really husky voice you get from the old woman who has smoked 60 fags a day for most of her life....
Female
Topaz53  Female  Northamptonshire
2-Jan-2020 14:23 Message #4767150
Voices are very important and we constantly change their tone depending on the situation and the people we are with.

Doing voluntary work with a lot of people, young and old with hearing difficulties, my voice has to be raised, the only problem is I often forget to reduce it after, then it takes me a while to adjust back !!
I would love to have a softer tone sometimes....I'm working on it :/

I hate shouting ...Loud and aggressive voices make me very uneasy.
Soft, empathic voices make me calm.

I dislike women who put on a silly "Barbara Windsor" type voice, purely for effect, when I've actually witnessed them talking in a "normal" voice. (Hence the hellium reference )
......And by the way, I do like B.W.

On a personal level, I like a strong masculine voice with a hint of softness.
E.g. Sean Connery, although a Scottish accent isn't compulsory lol

However our views on this post, your voice, although it can often be the first impression that is given, it is only a small percentage of our entirety.
I don't think I would be put off liking or disliking a person purely by their voice.
It would be more of a case of how long and how often I had to endure
it ;)
Male
tumbled  Male  Gloucestershire
2-Jan-2020 14:39 Message #4767152
Imagine what we all sound like....

We probably have our own perceptions of other posters voices...and in some cases we might be right.....but I expect we are way off with some....

On some sights I think you can record a voice thing.....so you have a bit of an idea...

One thing that I have difficulty with is often distinguishing between a Lancashire and a Yorkshire accent.....I was born in Lancashire....and also lived in Yorkshire for 7 years....I'm not sure if that is why I often can't tell one from the other....but I get it wrong on numerous occasions......with various reactions.....'That's a fine Lancashire accent you've got there'.........'What?....It happens to be Yorkshire!!'.........punch on nose....
Female
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd
2-Jan-2020 18:47 Message #4767176
People with nasally voices annoy me, sound like they should have had thier adenoids out as children.
Female
wholelottakaren  Female  Lincolnshire
2-Jan-2020 19:13 Message #4767180
" As I emptied the trailer, I could hear her sitting there talking away to another woman..... (as the men did the work I might add). "

Thank you for sharing that fact with us Bob.
Female
eurostar  Female  Merseyside
2-Jan-2020 20:08 Message #4767185
totally agree, years ago I met a bloke without speaking on the phone to him, big mistake,never did that again.....he had the loudest squeaky high pitch voice I have ever heard,,,,,,,,,,yuk.
two drinks later (he bought one, I bought one)I was gone, could never have had that voice whispering sweet stuff down my ear...…..
so now I speak on phone everytime….lol
Female
Clocky  Female  the West Midlands
2-Jan-2020 21:22 Message #4767186
Happy new year :)

Totally agree but I can readily excuse an irritating voice far quicker than I can a derogatory one.

Male
fosy  Male  Leicestershire
2-Jan-2020 21:36 Message #4767190
the beeb have got a couple of female football commentators but i find their voices to shrill and high pitched when they get excited.
Female
Clocky  Female  the West Midlands
2-Jan-2020 21:43 Message #4767193
Sounds like my sister - in-law Fosy. She's loud and high pitched to boot... Her voice hurts my ears.
Male
fosy  Male  Leicestershire
2-Jan-2020 21:58 Message #4767196
yeh, not nice is it ;¬)
Female
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire
3-Jan-2020 02:09 Message #4767209
So agree with you, Fosy, about the female football commentators, and I'd extend that to most of the women on Radio5Live late at night and early morning. I use R5Live to help me sleep - those mellifluous voices of presenters like Rhod Sharpe. I tend to wake up with a start when most of the females come on.

Voice is very important in my attraction to someone - if you're going to get into an established relationship then you're going to be hearing that voice an awful lot of the time.

On Topaz's thread, the beauty of French and Italian accents was noted. I was talking to an Italian man on the phone tonight (so far we've had a couple of good dates) and I had to laugh when he texted me after to say how much he liked to talk to me.....he said, "I love to listen to your delicate, lovely, and fairy voice" :):):)
Not quite sure what a fairy sounds like!
Female
jennifer  Female  Gloucestershire
3-Jan-2020 10:35 Message #4767222
Have found that my Scottish accent, despite 46 years in Gloucester, does give people something to talk to me about ..... "You're not from around here, are you?"!!!
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
5-Jan-2020 08:24 Message #4767393
"Thank you for sharing that fact with us Bob."

You are very welcome Karen, as Wonderoushen says, My hobby horse never gets a rest!!! :D
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
5-Jan-2020 08:26 Message #4767394
"Have found that my Scottish accent, despite 46 years in Gloucester, does give people something to talk to me about ..... "You're not from around here, are you?"!!!"

Yes, good for you Jennifer! I still get that where I live in Falkirk with a Glasgowish accent!!! :D
Female
jennifer  Female  Gloucestershire
5-Jan-2020 09:50 Message #4767403
I've even been asked if I am Irish, HB!

Strong Glesca accent ..... cannae beat it!!
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
5-Jan-2020 17:07 Message #4767440
"Strong Glesca accent ..... cannae beat it!!"

Hahaha well that's the thing.... It's not strong. I think over the years of travelling all over Scotland I've developed a strong regional accent. But the Glasgow in me seems to shine through! :D :D :D
Male
tumbled  Male  Gloucestershire
5-Jan-2020 17:49 Message #4767448
Regional accents often make really good comedy.....Brummie, Scouse, Manc, Cockney, Essex, many more....

On the 'Scottish' one.....one of my favourite comedies is 'Still Game'....Jack, Victor, Isa, Winston, Tam, Boaby the barman....to name a few......also the 'special' way the 'neds' speak....High pitched and hilarious....
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region
12-Jan-2020 09:29 Message #4768024
Was talking to a security guard at work today, there was a slight noise of a diesel fridge humming in the back ground, and this guy was talking and I could barely hear a word he was saying! So quietly spoken. I found myself trying to read his lips before I decided.... If he can't be bothered to make himself heard, then what he is saying isn't important. Shit attitude I know.

This reminded me of another guy I used to work with on the buses. I recalled having to sit next to him in the canteen, the room would be in a kind of big group discussion, 4-5-6 tables with a few men at each all chatting away. I sat next to this guy, lets call him Davy, and I'm listening to the conversation and Davy turns to me and starts a wee conversation between us. I could barely hear him, and that was sat next to him. It was as if he was on mute! God it was so irritating! The guy was a decent guy too, applied to be the Union Rep, and a never got it..... spoke far too quietly to be taken seriously!

I can only imagine some poor woman, meeting him on an online dating site, seeing him, thinking he looks OK, nice to chat with, then meeting him for a coffee and not being able to hear a word he says.....

Anyone else experience this in people?

1 2 Next   Last  


 Back to top

 Help with conversations