Conversation Dating and Relationships
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Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

Relationships

and time on here

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Male
terry  Male  West Yorkshire 13-Oct-2019 20:06 Message #4757951
I've been on this site a fair few years now, many of the posters on threads and faces/names I see on the 'My Friends', Who's Online tab have become a part of my time online. I suspect when we look inwards, really deep inside ourselves we all hope to find someone, whether for relationship or friendship, I can't remember if this question has been asked before but the threads seem a bit quiet so it seemed a good time to ask again.

Having seen whatever threads you've read, have you been interested more in someone because of their postings, or think to yourself, never in a million years!
I'm not asking for names nor what it is they may have posted, just your views on whether you'd consider meeting them or not and whether you think it might go farther?
Female
Cautious1954  Female  Berkshire 13-Oct-2019 20:19 Message #4757957
I met a guy from here after being attracted by his postings. It’s more difficult to spot the ones you like than it is to spot the ones you would never want to meet.
Male
tumbleweed  Male  Gloucestershire 13-Oct-2019 20:40 Message #4757961
I've written before about my time on here...but in brief...for the first 2 years on here, I dated ladies who have never been on the public conversations.....neither had I ever posted anything in public...I don't think I even looked at the conversations....I must have been one of those you see as 'online' nowadays and never see them posting...

Although nowadays I don't date, I don't think I would date anyone on the public forum anyway....It doesn't seem 'right' somehow....a bit like dating people you work with or something like that....

Never say never and all that....but public forum dating is not for me....
Female
eurostar  Female  Merseyside 13-Oct-2019 21:07 Message #4757967
i,d date someone from the forums, I,d feel as though I sort of had an idea of who they are,
most guys who blind message me I,m wary of them being scammers
Male
MrQuiet  Male  Northamptonshire 14-Oct-2019 06:22 Message #4758038
I have dated someone from the forums and would do so again. The women in the forum come across a lot more fanciable than the men - but I would say that wouldn’t I.
Female
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 14-Oct-2019 09:30 Message #4758059
I joined just to meet people and develop local friendships and since I enjoy driving, I would enjoy driving many miles to enjoy the company of people in a similar situation. I wasn't ready to date, for another one to one pressure after a 28 year marriage that mutually ended amicably.

I have met men and women off this site, but there used to be an occasional thread on when is a date not a date. I always made it clear I wasn't dating but just enjoyed a platonic sharing the view so to speak.

I too have said this before, but I don't think MSE is great for dating because...well...one person I know called in rather incestuous!
They didn't mean incestuous in the true sense, but because MSE used to be more of an extended "family", two people would date, fall in the madness of love, then it fall apart rather too publicly. Some even felt they had to leave the site because it would become impossible to continue sharing the same "friends", though I know several couples who found love and appear to have remained happily married from someone being introduced to the site through attending meets. One man who I met as a friend for around 2 years I introduced to MSE and the first woman he messaged, who was not active on the threads, he later married and is still happily married. I wasn't "mine" so I was really happy to see him move on from his wife who had left him, so I "shared the view" with him which took up a few lonely weekends during the interim period of us moving on from a broken relationship, a very emotional dangerous time in my opinion.

Other dating sites without public threads have advantage and disadvantage.

The advantage is you are going on a date so the person you meet is on their best behaviour to impress. It is also awful in that some are being eyed up for being "fancied" so if you have an unattractive twitch on the day, you will be judged for your insides as well.

The advantage of MSE, if one is looking for a partner, allows insight into behaviours they may not otherwise show on a date such as controlling behaviour, verbal abuse, subtle nasty comments that might be otherwise not obvious if they were under pressure of being "nice" on a date.

Then there are those who might be quietly possessive. Those who expect someone to drop all other friends, especially if the opposite sex.
I realised I warmed to men more, if they were amicable to ex partners and did not always proportion blame entirely to someone else, unless of course, an abusive relationship which is different.

As my profile says, I am happily in a relationship since around 2011. I wasn't looking, and I have met several men and women off these threads.

Just a note to some "new" men.
There have been a few cases on here when men have met men one to one as purely mutual friendship, and although being gay is fine, it is also quite OK to meet people of the same sex as friends too.
Male
Colonel_Blink  Male  Buckinghamshire 14-Oct-2019 09:50 Message #4758061
I dated my best friend's sister and I already knew all the family which gavve it the "incestuous" feel to the relationship. Atrraction is a strange thing. I have been attracted by someones words, by their actions and by their looks. One of those on it's own isn't enough but a combination of all three is just right for me. The words don't have to be clever. The actions don't have to be outstanding. The looks don't have to be beautiful (in the stereotypical sense).
I have also dated a forum poster but it was a while ago now. Do it again? Of course.
Male
terry  Male  West Yorkshire 14-Oct-2019 09:56 Message #4758062
Just realised I should have stated my position, consider meeting? definitely, go further? highly unlikely, I'm like a kid just left home and learning how to cope with doing the washing up! no one in their right mind would consider anything more than a pie and a pint with someone like that.

What spurred me to ask the question was every time I come on the site I check out the Who's Online? in the My Friends tab along the top and quite often it's the same people. recently though I've been seeing a lot of faces from yesteryear and hoped they were just looking in to keep up with friends they had made - as Lyn nicely described, and also wondered how they were getting on in that big wide world out there hopefully having found the person they wish to share a life with.
I know, I'm just an incurable old romantic!
Male
Hierophant  Male  East Anglia 14-Oct-2019 10:10 Message #4758064
I've been on a number of dates and meetings with ladies from here back in the good old days. Quite a few I used to chat with on the phone regularly and considered friends, albeit distant ones.
Nowadays, there is nobody here that fits into either of those camps, that's why my profile is as dead as a dead thing and I have no pictures.
Basically, I come here now to hone my sarcasm skills...
Female
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 14-Oct-2019 10:57 Message #4758070
Honestly Terry I don't want to find a special someone, because I don't believe they exist or if they do its fleeting and more trouble than its worth in the long run. Online conversations give me enough human contact, of course there are thigs I'd like to talk about more, but they're more specialised and few people are interested in them anyway.

There was a meet nearby but I couldn't go to it as my parents were staying that weekend, I'd pop along to another local meet, but I wouldn't travel for one, I've still not really recovered from the trauma of my last trip east of Bangor.
Male
MrQuiet  Male  Northamptonshire 14-Oct-2019 11:39 Message #4758083
I'd go to a local meet. Group meets aren't my thing but if it was local mabe a coffee and say hello lol.
Female
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 14-Oct-2019 11:53 Message #4758087
Colonel_Blink

Agree entirely, I've also found people become beautiful from an initial meet where looks in the stereotypical sense are not obvious, but then certain smiles, a look in the eye, somethings become attractive. I think can be the case in where people have lost a partner they have loved. They might seek a "replacement" with similar characteristics, yet another person can equally become loved in a different way.
Female
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire 14-Oct-2019 13:34 Message #4758093
I was kind of with someone that I met through the site for quite a few years and it is a few years since that folded now. I did meet up with a few of the men who post on site just as friends and one I did quite like, but he said that he wasn't looking for a relationship. If I am honest, with a few exceptions who are an absolute delight, from the way that most of the the men on here post, it has pretty well put me off men altogether.
Male
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire 15-Oct-2019 06:36 Message #4758251
So the forum is a good place to kibosh any chance of romance.

Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region 15-Oct-2019 07:00 Message #4758255
"I'm not asking for names nor what it is they may have posted, just your views on whether you'd consider meeting them or not and whether you think it might go farther?"

Well for me.....

I'd consider meeting people off the site, male or female as friends only. As for going "farther", that would be an absolute no! Nothing against the women of the site, just not for me, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual! Hehehe

However, you never know who might come on the site tomorrow! Maybe a 19 year old Thai chick, with out a D!€k, who enjoys housework, being subservient to her man, and is looking to have lots of children! I won't hold my breath! :o
Female
NoSaint  Female  Devon 15-Oct-2019 08:18 Message #4758256
You might be lucky HonestBob as I’ve seen a few Thai ladies advertised at the top of the site.
Male
MrQuiet  Male  Northamptonshire 16-Oct-2019 06:52 Message #4758498
This really is the site which offers something for everyone.
Male
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire 16-Oct-2019 08:29 Message #4758523
This really is the site which offers something for everyone.


Nooooooooo!
Female
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire 16-Oct-2019 14:49 Message #4758583
It would seem that way Mr Wot.
Male
persona_non_grata  Male  North London 16-Oct-2019 16:07 Message #4758595
I've met a few ladies over the past years and my decision to meet has been mainly from their posts although an attractive face does help. I can say unequivocally that the ladies I've met from midsummer have been lovely.
Female
nellieredshoes  Female  West Yorkshire 16-Oct-2019 16:52 Message #4758609
Interesting,Terry.
I’ve been absent from the site for a while. Not because I found someone but because I was bored by the bickering and rudeness.

I think the threads give an idea of who it would be worth meeting and who you wouldn’t touch with the proverbial barge pole. Kindness and humour would be my yardsticks for who to meet and there’s precious little of that in most posts.
Male
Nigel_In_Devon  Male  Devon 16-Oct-2019 19:24 Message #4758636
Bob..."being subservient to her man"

Seriously? You want a partner to be subservient to you?
Female
Bewildered  Female  Norfolk 16-Oct-2019 19:35 Message #4758641
Terry

Yes, not the profile pic ( not that I take notice of them )

A chap caught my eye with his posts....... Funny as I didnt really agree with what he said, but there was something about his manner

I messaged him... we started up an online friendship...........he eventually came to visit ,,,,,,,, got on well
unfortunately didnt go fruther, for a variety of reasons

but the post have always attracted or not more than anything else
I dont look at profiles , only the distance ...

have met more nice peeps that way
Female
NoSaint  Female  Devon 29-Oct-2019 07:12 Message #4760868
I’ve met two guys from this site. Both as friends. One was a regular poster on the forum and was very much as I expected.
Male
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire 8-Nov-2019 06:29 Message #4761841
Bob..."being subservient to her man"

Seriously? You want a partner to be subservient to you?


Surprised? We are talking about Bob and Bob is always honest.

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