Conversation The Common Room
Helper icon Helpers: Chris2mates , LLstill , PrincessFruitBat

About us

Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

Do you ever

Do searches

terry  Male  West Yorkshire 25-Apr-2019 17:28 Message #4739229
Do you ever use the search facility on here?
I'm a nosey so and so and like to read people's profile pages. People can be very interesting in what they write and sometimes I wish I had the time to talk with each one to find out more about them.
It would be interesting to find out the female perspective as well as the male, if any ladies are willing to put their heads above the parapet?

Oh, please don't refer to it being a pervy pastime...I get no 'kick' out of it, I'm just sometimes a time wasting nosey sod plus my aim to find a life partner went walkabout years ago.
tumbleweed  Male  Gloucestershire 25-Apr-2019 18:17 Message #4739231
When I first joined the site quite a few years ago, I just used it for having a few dates and things. it was about 2 years before I ever took part in any public forums.

Those first 2 years, I would search profiles, contact someone, get up a bit of rapport, then meet. Some were many miles away, and I was working 12 hr shifts at the time, days and nights, so getting things going properly was a bit of an issue.

I found out at the time that a lot of profiles were dormant, so instead of just contacting one, and waiting a week or two to see if they would respond, I would contact 5 or 6 or more even, and then see what happened. It got a bit complicated at times, because I only really wanted one special person, and sometimes it felt wrong, as though I was stringing some along etc.

Nowadays, I'm not up for dating, so just use the conversations.

I also found that the public conversations are not where I would look for a potential date, if I was looking. I would definitely go back to one to one communication, with people who don't use the conversations part.

I get the feeling that most people who use the public conversations are not up for dating each other. There are some exceptions, but the dating happens backstage, with profile searching etc, in my opinion.
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire 26-Apr-2019 02:03 Message #4739241
I've never really thought of MSE as a dating site, so only ever did one search, the week I joined.
I joined several years ago when I was shut in at home following surgery on my achilles tendon, as I noticed it had a lively forum (then!) and it was fun to join in whilst I was housebound. I did receive messages from men looking to meet, so did end up dating, just a few, in those early times. Then I was in subsequent relationships from elsewhere, and haven't considered dating here again.

I stayed here to chat to people I'd got to know either on the threads or in real life, and liked the fact that, in my eyes, this was a purely platonic site for me. I took several steps back, and stayed off, even now rarely coming back, because of a certain malign and misogynistic (unwarranted) public attack on me here, and sadly it is now bereft of the life and spirit it once had. However, I have to say that one chance message generated from the one and only search I ever did, almost changed my life! From it I met a man who I met and with whom I clicked immediately. However he was returning to his native Australia a few days later. We kept in touch, felt a very special bond, so he returned to spend time with me. We both thought we were in love, and I went out to Australia to stay with him, during which time he asked me to marry him. Sadly he wanted me to fall in love with Australia too, and to live there...but I didn't, I like being in Europe. So, let that be a warning of where doing an MSE search can lead you, hahahaha:)
persona_non_grata  Male  North London 26-Apr-2019 13:50 Message #4739258
I occasionally have a quick browse but I get the feeling most of the profiles belong to members who no longer visit the site. When I first joined the site soon after my divorce many years ago the internet was a new venture and I couldn't believe how easy it was to meet new people and I have met dozens from this site (I say met not dated) in those early days. Most of the members on here were very keen to meet up which shouldn't be suprising as that was the purpose of the site. The forum was just a bonus and a bit of fun.

The good old days.
tumbleweed  Male  Gloucestershire 26-Apr-2019 15:38 Message #4739260
Further to my earlier post, I very rarely look at anybodies profile nowadays, and very few look at mine.

I don't tend to look at anyone who is posting. Saying that probably makes me look a bit as though I don't care or something. I sometimes look, but not much.

My profile has very little on it. A bit of basic info, and a couple of photos, one of our school class when I was 12 in 1969. There are only visible to people online. I don't mind if anyone looks. I don't take it that the person wants to communicate or anything.

Many more people look at my profile offline than they do online. I currently have 5931 people looked at the profile, but I would say that only a couple of hundred have ever been people online. All the rest have been 'offliners'. It's probably different for the girls, they probably get loads of people looking. It would be interesting to see how many online/offline others get.
RAACH84  Female  Buckinghamshire 26-Apr-2019 16:11 Message #4739261
Maybe you come across a bit scary tumbleweed hehe.
RAACH84  Female  Buckinghamshire 26-Apr-2019 16:12 Message #4739262
The good old days personanongrata? Do you feel a bit past it now :)
tumbleweed  Male  Gloucestershire 26-Apr-2019 16:42 Message #4739264
I'm more scary now Raach...I have a long white beard since my photo a couple of years ago. I look like Uncle Albert...
mancers  Male  Greater Manchester 26-Apr-2019 18:35 Message #4739268
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 26-Apr-2019 18:37 Message #4739269
No never, it rarely ever ocurs to me to look at who's looking at me either and certainly not if they're on or offline.
BlackMark1  Male  Leicestershire 26-Apr-2019 19:11 Message #4739275
I always look back at someone if they look at me and often look at a profile of a member in the forum both out of curiosity.
I’ve done a few searches and from that chatted to some nice ladies.
tsunamiwarrior  Male  Hertfordshire 26-Apr-2019 23:30 Message #4739281
I have searched and searched and searched. :(
persona_non_grata  Male  North London 27-Apr-2019 07:55 Message #4739286
The good old days personanongrata? Do you feel a bit past it now :)

Not just a bit lol.
Aely  Female  Hampshire 27-Apr-2019 09:40 Message #4739292
I occasionally check to see who is within 5 or 10 miles of me. A goodly number of years ago I made a good friend (just) within walking distance and miss him since he moved North when he retired 5 years ago. I still check occasionally for potential local friendship possibilities.

Aely  Female  Hampshire 27-Apr-2019 09:52 Message #4739296
I have just done a check and there are 11 men and 10 women within 5 miles of me. How many of them still use the site I don't know. Some are only here for dating. I'm on here for friendship. Male or female so long as they are pleasant company and fancy an occasional lunch at the local chippy..
Andromeda  Female  Berkshire 30-Apr-2019 08:21 Message #4739378
I do the same Aely and have a little nose to see who is close to me. I have been on the site a few years and i remember it being quiet busy but it's quiet now. i have made a few good friends on here.
tsunamiwarrior  Male  Hertfordshire 30-Apr-2019 23:14 Message #4739385
It’s so quiet on here I’ve been searching for signs of life.
RAACH84  Female  Buckinghamshire 4-May-2019 08:08 Message #4739540
Tumbleweed. Nothing wrong with Uncle Albert he’s a national treasure hehe!
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire 6-May-2019 07:11 Message #4739615
I had a good long look at all the local ladies this morning. Some very attractive and appealing but I wonder if they are still members.

Back to top  Back to top

Help with conversations Help with conversations »