Conversation Dating and Relationships
Helper icon Helpers: Chris2mates , LLstill , PrincessFruitBat


About us


Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

Back to the dating lark

For a change

Male
terry  Male  West Yorkshire 4-Apr-2019 18:14 Message #4738021
Perusing the dating threads today I noticed what I thought an excellent comment made by one of the ladies. The talk I think was generally about whether humans would continue dating humans but as is the case in threads the talk changed course slightly. Anyway, the following was posted:

'I think that most of us have rather less choice about it than we would care to admit.'

From a personal perspective I agree with this and thought it summed up the dating dilemma quite well. Apart from Happy Matt I think he calls himself, I wondered whether that statement rang true for you or do you remain positive that you have the choice? how much choice do you have?
Of course, the choice includes continuing to live a life alone sooner than settle for 'less', but could you ever see yourself changing your view of whom you might end up with?
Male
NotHermit  Male  Derbyshire 4-Apr-2019 19:12 Message #4738026
Have you been looking at my inbox?
Female
Aely  Female  Hampshire 7-Apr-2019 12:16 Message #4738176
When you get to my age you could expand your horizons to "alive" and "male" without getting any action.

A friend of mine, my age, found her perfect fella after 2 failed and abusive marriages and many years on her own. Within 2 years he had passed away with a previously undiagnosed brain tumour. Now she feels even more alone.
Male
persona_non_grata  Male  North London 12-Apr-2019 14:32 Message #4738506
Oh come off it!! Things aren't that bad ...yet!!
Female
RoseyCheeks  Female  Nottinghamshire 14-Apr-2019 10:25 Message #4738599
'I think that most of us have rather less choice about it than we would care to admit.'

Yes, I saw that too and found it refreshingly honest. Even when you do finally find someone you consider you could be happy with they've invariably got a whole room full of baggage and trust issues from previous relationships to make a new relationship with you viable.
Male
HonestBob  Male  the Central region 14-Apr-2019 13:04 Message #4738608
" 'I think that most of us have rather less choice about it than we would care to admit.' "

Yes I recall Minnie saying this... it is very accurate for a lot of people I think.

Certainly for me anyway. I have a type of woman I like, and the type of woman I like, are extremely rare, extremely rare!

If I lowered my standards to a lesser desirable women, both in looks and personality, I think I'd be spoiled for choice.

"could you ever see yourself changing your view of whom you might end up with?"

Yes, one of the type of woman I avoid are single mothers. As I'd like a crack at having a woman, to have kids with, without bringing another man's child in tow. If I met a woman, and we had kids, and it didn't work out, I've had my shot at the... family dream so to speak, I've had my own kids. Then I'd be open to seeing a woman with her own kids. This would then open up the market a bit, and I think I'd do well!
Male
warmundeft  Male  Wrexham 14-Apr-2019 13:10 Message #4738609
Mmmm ! Maybe re-think hopes and expectations.
Any carbon-based life forms . . . ?
Female
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire 14-Apr-2019 13:32 Message #4738610
I think that that comment might not be quite so laudable on close inspection.
When I said that it was an expression of disillusionment at my own experiences in the dating game.
The truth of it is that my experience has led me to the conclusion that I would have my work cut out finding someone who even understands the basics of good manners, let alone being relationship material.
Don't get me wrong, I have met some nice men from this site, some of them with whom I have an enduring friendship with. It's only when the dating and romance thing comes into the frame that it all falls apart and normal decency, kindness and respect for other people's feelings goes completely out of the window. The people that I have met for potential dating, on the whole, haven't been very nice people, so the choice for me was recognising that I was looking for a bit more than that.
What I said came from a place of having a good sense of my own self worth and, whilst my self awareness acknowledges that I have my faults and deficiencies, much the same as anyone else, I'm not a bad old bird, either in looks or personality, and I have a lot to offer to the right person. It's not as if I am looking for much; just someone who is kind and considerate and fun to be with, but why on earth would I choose to put up with unkind or rude behaviour, which seems to go hand in hand with online dating?
Male
tumbleweed  Male  Gloucestershire 14-Apr-2019 14:03 Message #4738612
As it stands at the moment, I can't see me ever properly dating again.

It's mainly not a 'hurt' thing, or a 'nontrust' thing, although they do come into it a bit, but it is the way i am at the moment.

I used to have a fairly active life, enjoyed getting out and about, enjoyed the ladies, and believe it or not, could turn on the charm every now and again.

Nowadays, since my heart failure, I have slowed right down, although some probably hadn't realised that I had speeded up in the first place.

I am not dating material now. I would struggle to properly fulfil a relationship. Today, for instance, I have already fallen asleep twice in the chair, and it's only 2pm...

I still have a bit of fire though, and a twinkle or two, so who knows in the future, but right now, I feel sleepy again.
Male
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire 16-Apr-2019 07:46 Message #4738749
There is more choice now with the internet than ever before in history so a little perseverance and Voila!
Male
tsunamiwarrior  Male  Hertfordshire 16-Apr-2019 15:12 Message #4738777
Persevering and still waiting for the voila.
Male
HotOrWot  Male  Lancashire 22-Apr-2019 06:59 Message #4739048
It was so quiet on the midsummer forum this weekend I’m guessing everyone’s at it. ;)
Female
joolsy  Female  Essex 27-Apr-2019 10:13 Message #4739300
Wish I was lol lol ... I haven't given up on love ... As I'm a very loving person ... I guess I'm looking for a forever friend now :)


Back to top  Back to top

Help with conversations Help with conversations »