Conversation Dating and Relationships
Helper icon Helpers: Chris2mates , LLstill , PrincessFruitBat


About us


Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

Unrequited appeal

Male
Helper icon Helper
Chris2mates  Male  Lancashire 28-Jan-2019 10:20 Message #4734179
When I was a late teen (around 19 I think?) I used to catch a bus every night from work. Most evenings a girl used to show up in the same queue about the same age.

She wasn't especially glamorous, nor typically beautiful, but she caught my attention and I thought she looked pretty and sort of demure which added to her appeal for me.

On those occasions when she didn't get my bus, I felt a definite disappointment. On the contrary, when she appeared, I felt very happy and optimistic and probably stole a few glances too to see if she was looking at me!!

Back in the day, I was tongue-tied and very unsure of myself with girls. I could chat with girls in the ordinary of events but if I saw a girl whom I especially liked, I had no more chance of chatting her up than I could of flying without engines! In those days I felt useless and totally unworthy!

I occasionally look back on earlier times and wonder what might have happened had I chosen to grasp the opportunities life offered to me? Would she have responded to a friendly chat? Would a job I turned down in a different part of the country have given me a glamorous adventure? Would I have worked in the media had I pursued a career passion I came to deny in those years?

I must admit I'm quite content with life as it's turned out so far and I don't revisit these events with any sense of regret, but Its nice wonder 'what if' from time to time.

Did you ever have an unspent desire - a fancied man or woman who you didn't approach?
Female
JustLyn  Female  Cheshire 28-Jan-2019 11:29 Message #4734187
Hi Chris,

Although I say it myself, I appeared to be a head turner when I was at the age you describe, but I didn't want the attention. I would walk a different direction to avoid the attention of boys or workmen who used to do the calls that are frowned on these days. I was slim, leggy, wore fashionable clothes of the day, and even rode a motor scooter in a mini skirt which was totally at odds with my inner self.

I'd probably have never dated any boy until I boy fancied my scooter!
Well he did fancy me as well, and me him, but when his friends met me on the stairs at college (I was a nursing cadet and he a trainee chef) they said, "Hey, you are dating John aren't you?"

I said "No, I am not dating anyone". Blushed and ran off.

Later John said "You told my friends we are not dating?"

I said "Well I'm not am I?"

Lol... In the years we were "dating", which involved galavanting over the hills of Derbyshire and the flats of Cheshire, we'd discuss magnetos, get into allsorts of adventures, even finding a body in a car, then rescued an old lady hanging out of a window!

I never went to a dance or a pub.

He was 176 cm when we met and 184 cm when we divorced and he is still one of the nicest guys you could wish to meet. But the girls then, and his John Travolta image was not in keeping with Pippy Longstocking of the 70's.


I found I changed and became more amenable to talking to men when I no longer felt I was supposed to be looking for anyone. In my youth, I thought men were another being off another planet and I didn't fit the mould so contrary to their responses, I think I deliberately scared boys away by acting in a way they did not expect.


My sister, 15 years older, I once said to her that a boy had whistled at me whilst I was on my pushbike. She asked me what I did. I said I pulled out my tongue and cycled off as quickly as possible!
Female
Cassis  Female  Cambridgeshire 28-Jan-2019 20:21 Message #4734202
Oh, Chris, you have reminded me of a boy on my bus route when I first got to University. He would have been about 19.
He never spoke to me but smiled at me every time he saw me. I would get on the bus with my friends and then find he had paid for my ticket. This went on for months, then the whole 3 years I was at that University. Halfway through my first term I met my husband-to-be, but undeterred this guy continued just the same. I knew he was in the University somewhere but I didnt know what department or even what his name was. He became known to my friends, and even to my boyfriend, as "Smiler", and was as a feature in my life until I graduated. I think by then I might have learned his name and what he did, but certainly not from him...he never actually spoke to me.
I had totally forgotten that til I read your post, and who knows how his life panned out, and I wonder still what it was all about:)
Male
Good2BWith  Male  West Yorkshire 29-Jan-2019 01:42 Message #4734211
You mean that you never even went to say Thank you to him for buying your ticket?
Female
justfem  Female  Cambridgeshire 29-Jan-2019 13:35 Message #4734229
It's always been a problem for me. I could talk with friends but when it came to dating I'd dry up totally and not be able to hold a conversation. I'm not the best conversationalist at the best of times but my friends tended to have similar interests to me so we had something in common. When it came to dating I always had a habit of 'hiding' behind academia.
Female
RoseyCheeks  Female  Nottinghamshire 1-Feb-2019 10:07 Message #4734354
I married a man I met on the bus on my way to college. One snowy morning his car locks were frozen up so he had to get the bus and the seat next to me was free. We both felt a tension between us, which despite being shy, I broke by expressing surprise when a great slab of snow dislodged and slid down our window as the bus braked for some traffic lights and he obviously remembered where I worked at weekends from our chat and phoned me there on the Sunday. Went out Monday, again on the Thursday and then saw each other almost every night thereafter and moved in together almost 6 months later. Not together now, but it was right at the time :-)


Back to top  Back to top

Help with conversations Help with conversations »