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Not going out


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BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 07:48 Message #4729100
I have been thinking now for a long time and wonder why people i know just stay in. I like to go out and about even if it is just a coffee. I get on the bus and go different places during the week. I have made some acquaintances on the way where i have a coffee. I go on day trips and was thinking of going on these coach holidays next year. I have been on holiday on my own with the NHS social group
in the past. I do feel lonely sometimes as i am not the sort of person who likes their own company all the time.

Any ideas of anywhere i can join?

Thank you
Pboro Trevor  Male  Cambridgeshire 23-Nov-2018 08:05 Message #4729102
Look on google for your local Meetup groups. Also look on Facebook for local interest groups. Local papers are also a source of information for trips etc

BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 08:12 Message #4729103
I've done all that and you have to go every week or you are out of the group.The thing is i am not keen on meeting with locals.
jennifer  Female  Gloucestershire 23-Nov-2018 09:48 Message #4729105
Don't have to go every week to events in the Meetup group that I run, Bunny! You pays your 2 quid for membership for a year and you takes your choice of any or no events to attend!
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 10:06 Message #4729108
Most of the groups i have looked at that were local say you have to meet every week.

Maybe they are nicer people where you live than down here lol
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 10:20 Message #4729109
I have joined a coffee morning every other week and they are nice people but not where i live as it is a bus ride away. I need something else but have to keep looking.
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire 23-Nov-2018 10:26 Message #4729110
have you tried joining a dating site ?
RAACH84  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 10:50 Message #4729117
What about the University of the Third Age?
wonderoushen  Female  Gwynedd 23-Nov-2018 10:58 Message #4729119
Why are you not keen on meeting with locals?

What about volunteering for something, walking dogs at your local animal shelter for instance. Are there any craft groups you could go to, I hear even the WI is having a revival with lots of younger members now.
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire 23-Nov-2018 11:06 Message #4729123
or zumba class, a lot of this other stuff sounds like its for oldies,lol
RAACH84  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 12:39 Message #4729140
What about the University of the Third Age?
Madness102  Female  South Yorkshire 23-Nov-2018 15:54 Message #4729154
Oh Bunny there are just Sooo many things to do and places to see - think of something u enjoy then look it up of go ogle - there will be plenty.

I do understand your reticence about local meets, as I found everybody wants to know all your business. Although you dont have to answer their questions. I hate to do anything on a too regular basis and some clubs think you should be there every week (or even day!) but its your social life, not theres!
Best of luck in finding lots of interesting things to do besides sitting in and watching a box !!
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 18:14 Message #4729157
I don not sit in and watch the box at least not during the day as i go out to different places even if it
is just having a coffee.

The thing is i do not have a car.

Also been to the University of the third age and all i did was chat and have coffee instead of learning what i wanted to learn. But now it has been taken over by someone new and her rules are different.
You have to do this and that.

Was thinking of joinging Zumba classes so will have to see what time they run to go home. Sometimes the buses stop running at 6pm. Does depend on where in Buckimghwmshirr you live. Have to look into it.
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 18:15 Message #4729158
By the way blackbeard i am old ha ha 71 nearly 72 omg lol

Ilsmileforu  Female  Durham 23-Nov-2018 19:39 Message #4729164
I have just had my first Pilates class yesterday, I was a bit nervous when I first went in.
My local Gym and Schools have all sorts of classes to go to.
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 20:04 Message #4729170
Bunnygirl, there used to be a swimming group at Aylesbury for the over 60's - not everyone could swim. I went to it for a while but gave up cos of being allergic to the chlorine stuff. They were quite good fun and often had little spin off events which some of them went to - coffee morning, pub lunches, walks - no one really knew each other apart from at the pool and a mix of male & female. But thats how friendships start isnt it. Its used to be advertised in Bucks Herald.
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 23-Nov-2018 20:38 Message #4729181
That sounds good Victoriana will look that one up.

Although how long ago was that you did your swimming! As things can change overnight !
tsunamiwarrior  Male  Hertfordshire 24-Nov-2018 07:36 Message #4729241
I was without a car for a while and during my travels on buses and waiting at bus stops I found my conversations with strangers multiplied. Bus travellers are a very friendly and chatty group particularly at bus stops. I also found I could get around just as with a car but the journeys took longer but on the plus side I arrived in the town centres with no looking for parking spaces.
I know it’s not always easy to decide what to do socially and to meet people but there are plenty of things to choose from.
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 24-Nov-2018 08:05 Message #4729242
If you read my post i do go out and chat to people on buses or wherever i go but sometimes i would not mind having company to do these things with. But that is the problem hate being on my own day in and day out.
Judance  Female  Berkshire 24-Nov-2018 11:19 Message #4729253
BG, I am 71 .. 72 next week and I am NOT old!

I moved here almost 12 years ago knowing no-one except my son and his wife. I volunteered at a charity shop for a while and joined my local Lions Club .. a world-wide service organisation that does a lot of fundraising for local people in need. The meetings are only once a month, but there is a lot to do in between .. and they are a friendly lot so getting a lift would never be a problem.
Through them I have met loads of people in the town and beyond and become involved more widely. My best coffee/lunch buddy works at the Town Hall - we met through organising events and my concert/holiday companion is also a Lion.

I'm not saying this kind of thing is for you but that one thing can lead to another.

Dance classes, whether it be Zumba, Salsa, Ballroom or Latin can be great fun .. contact the organiser and explain your lack of transport. I'm sure they can find someone who would be willing to give you a lift.

Other older singles I know have joined a rambling club (walking and clearing footpaths), volunteered at the local theatre or reading in school.

The lack of transport seems to be an inhibiting factor ... have you ruled out learning to drive?
RoseyCheeks  Female  Nottinghamshire 24-Nov-2018 11:43 Message #4729254
One of my Aqua Aerobic classes is named as GP Referral, so has a lot of retired people and they have a great time messing around in the water and staying on for coffee/breakfast together after. I find them great fun to workout with and very welcoming to all.
tumbled  Male  Gloucestershire 24-Nov-2018 12:10 Message #4729258
It sounds as though you don't need to fill your life with all sorts of social things, as you seem to get out and about at times, but probably just want a few other things to do, other than being at home on your own.

I am sometimes good at giving advice, but often hopeless at taking it.

Right, here's a few of my things. I am prepared for the negative response though. Firstly, following Sport ( What!!! ), either live or online or TV. There are many ways to do it, and with the internet, many great sources for followers of all types of sport.

Live Bands - From pubs to clubs to concerts to all sorts.

Just staying in, but finding new things to stay in for. With the internet, there is so much. I find so many things to watch, on places like youtube or dailymotion or many other places. A lot is free. Some you may have to pay for, like Netflix or whatever, but much is free. And there is so much that interests me on the internet, that if I never went out again, ever, and tried to follow it all the time, I wouldn't have got through a tenth of it before I was 100.

Local Libraries - Not just for getting some pretty good books, but also internet access, and often people to talk to. Even though there is still a 'shush' thing about libraries, and quite right to, there is also quite a lot of talking in certain areas, sometimes with staff, sometimes just people you meet. And there is no pressure to have to join in. Just do your own thing.

Well there's a few of mine, I hope some have been of help.

Incidentally, one of my favourite programs was 'Not Going Out'. I still watch it now. Lee Mack is brilliant. And he is also fantastic on 'Would I lie to you'.
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire 24-Nov-2018 12:22 Message #4729261
Bunny, the last time I went was nearly 3 years ago -I think the address is Park Street and as far as I know they still operate. In the same bulding they have various other classes too as I was going to join the Zumba till I broke my ankle.
BunnyGirl  Female  Buckinghamshire 24-Nov-2018 16:13 Message #4729282
tumbleweed and Victoriana thank you so much for your interests. I will take you both up on what you have said in this post. I feel a lot better now and will see about the zumba classes in the week. At least it is closer to home for me than Stoke Mandeville. Xx
AndyMacG  Male  the West Midlands 24-Nov-2018 17:07 Message #4729290
I’m one of those who tend to stay in most of the time, i go out to work every day during the week i’m a lorry driver so if i went to the pub every evening it wouldn’t be the right thing to do in my eyes, the weekends could be different but i would much rather go out with someone rather than go out to try and meet someone,
I don’t know what the difference would be if i was retired and had the whole day to myself so i would probably find some unpaid charitable work to do or a part time job of some kind, i don’t mind being lonely it has its benefits but also some drawbacks, i holiday most years on my own and have always managed to have good holidays and made some good friends but like most things they are so much more enjoyable with company :)

Andy Mac

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