Conversation Dating and Relationships
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Midsummer's Eve is a free online dating community - based around friendship, real meetups, real people, and real relationships. We've been online since 1999 and have twice won Radio 2's Web Site of the Day award. So why not join us for free and join in the discussion?

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SteveJG  Male  East Yorkshire 26-Dec-2016 12:03 Message #4670701
Why do people join this site and then totally ignore any messages they receive? Isn't that just very rude?
I have only just joined this site but I would always reply to any one who takes the time to contact me.

Argonaut  Male  Lancashire 26-Dec-2016 12:43 Message #4670703

How do you respond to cold callers?

Ignore them?

Buy their product/service?

Tell them how glad you are that they called 'cos you were beginning to think your doorbell/phone was broken?

People are under no obligation to respond - so take it as a bonus if they do.

Woosey  Female  North Yorkshire 26-Dec-2016 12:54 Message #4670705
True Jason but this is supposed to be a dating site.

Stage, I think there are an awful lot of people who don't even come on the site anymore. Good luck.

Woosey x
Nigel_In_Devon  Male  Devon 26-Dec-2016 13:10 Message #4670706
Think there are a lot of dead accounts.
nellieredshoes  Female  West Yorkshire 26-Dec-2016 13:24 Message #4670709
Very occasionally the messaging system has a glitch and sent messages do not appear in the recipient inbox until weeks later.

If it's unread the person probably hasn't been on site recently. If it has been read they are probably just not interested.

You just have to persevere until someone answers.
barney  Male  Surrey 26-Dec-2016 13:32 Message #4670712

When you use the search facility it does not tell you when that person was last logged in to the site. There is a reason for that, they want it to appear that there are a lot more members on here than there actually are. Most dating sites do this.
I suspect that the members you have messaged are not here anymore.
Also by the same token if someone is here they do not have to reply to you if they don't want to.
I know us seniors think this this is impolite but that's the way it is. Often it is easier to not respond rather than get drawn into a prolonged e mail exchange about why he or she does not want to correspond.
Wry  Male  Norfolk 26-Dec-2016 13:58 Message #4670719
There are members whose postings show they are active on the site, but who don't read any of the messages I've sent to them. It could be personal, but I believe they just can't see the messages. I suspect they've set a Group blocking option in My Options:

Block messages from people looking for:
Activity/hobby partners
Business contacts

One person in particular is looking for Dating/Romance as I am, but I think she's got that option blocked. I'd be surprised if she could see my messages and lacked the curiosity to open at least one of them.
Victoriana11  Female  Buckinghamshire 26-Dec-2016 14:10 Message #4670721
But also, there are sometimes a few tech problems with the site and messages which are sent, do not show on the recipients inbox. I have had this happen. Just one of those things.

Years ago we used to have to pay for membership. Its now FREE, no-one ever complains about that do they.
Wry  Male  Norfolk 26-Dec-2016 14:22 Message #4670724
I strongly object to all this free membership. It lets all the riff-raff in. And here I am to prove it.
Minnie-the-Minx  Female  Hertfordshire 26-Dec-2016 14:59 Message #4670730
I see from your profile that you must be fairly new to the site.
Ever since they boosted the anti scammer software on here about a year or so ago, people who change their profiles or new profiles some times have trouble sending private messages.
It doesn't get delivered at the other end and they cannot see the message in their inbox. If you look in your sent box, you will see that the message has been unopened.
It's happened to all of us at some time, and I agree that it is very annoying.
Wry  Male  Norfolk 26-Dec-2016 20:01 Message #4670756
I've just received an email saying someone added me as favourite, but when I look in the "Whose Favourite Am I?" list, there's no one there...
Dustybin  Male  Suffolk 26-Dec-2016 21:38 Message #4670763
I think it is a poor show that there is not more of an effort made by the people who own this site to ensure that members profiles are up to date. There is at least one profile of somebody who has sadly been deceased for quite a while.
Wry  Male  Norfolk 26-Dec-2016 22:02 Message #4670764
That explains it then. I must be dead.
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire 6-Feb-2017 13:17 Message #4676491
Think there are a lot of dead accounts.

i keep reading this as a lot of dead coconuts, :)

Judance  Female  Berkshire 6-Feb-2017 13:43 Message #4676498
should've gone to specsavers .. ?
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire 6-Feb-2017 13:45 Message #4676499
ju i think its more than an optician i need to see,lol
Timmee  Male  Hampshire 6-Feb-2017 14:12 Message #4676505
I used to ignore emails at work all the time, but I never ignore messages on here.
iii  Male  Avon 6-Feb-2017 14:14 Message #4676506
Steve - you must understand that you are dealing with women.

They are masters of the game.

The reason many women don't reply to you, or take longer than they should in replying to you, or just reply half heatedly with a badly spelt one liner is because they are getting a silly little power trip out of it.

Many women will simply sit on your pm's knowing that you, like most other men, will either pm them again begging for a reply ... or do as you have done and cry about it in public.

If a woman you pm does not reply within an acceptable time then you must simply leave - you will be dealing with an attention seeking idiot.

This thread was a mistake - when you uploaded it I bet you felt an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach - that is you handing over your balls.
capnblackbeard  Male  Hertfordshire 6-Feb-2017 14:26 Message #4676511
This thread was a mistake - when you uploaded it I bet you felt an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach - that is you handing over your balls.

would that be on a platter tit? :)
sunnyagain  Female  Hampshire 6-Feb-2017 15:51 Message #4676517
If you use the Group Blocking settings then people can't send you a message at all-they don't get a message box and it says the person they are trying to message has chosen not to receive messages. If someone hasn't opened a message then they either haven't received it due to the anti spamming software and it can take around 3 weeks to get through it or they're not using the site or they've blocked you and can't see it.

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