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or do some others just play being an A##se as they know nobody would want to date them?
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Well, i reckon' it kinda depends on your definition of arse. One mans "arsey" response in another man "forthright" opinion?
Excluding me, of course, because i am an arse. :)
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Oh, just noticed your asterixes. Can we not say arse on here? Lol.
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Over compensate for what?...
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Orson thinks it is imposible to deduce anything about another here by their postings alone. However there is ample opportunity to assume anything about another. As has been evidenced countless times on these boards.
Orson.
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Could the O/P please explain his inturpretation of over compensating and give an example?
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perhaps by being out spoken or just plain obnoxious! who knows as it's open to interpretation!
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I would imagine people over compensate for a variety of reasons. If a person has low self esteem because they are fat, short, shy or whatever they may well over compensate on threads in an attempt to overcome or hide it.
We all have issues, none of us are perfect - so I take all that happens on here with an enormous pinch of salt...
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I guess within our own insecurities, lyes some front that we use to portray a stronger side of ourselves.
If it makes us appear like a ass or a twat then so be it lol
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Then, how do you explain some that seem to enjoy playing the full time a#se?
Surely it cannot be an attractive or endearing feature!
Does it indicate a person that has given in to the inevitability of not being attractive to the opposite sex?
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Ratty the ones who play at being full time arses are the most insecure lol but that will be down to personal opinion.
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Depends what is considered as being an arse... a differing political opinion, an attempt to convert us pagans into christians, chatting amongst youselves off topic on a thread, consistantly complaining to admin, writing threads moaning about other members?...
Take your pic...
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I think there are certainly people who seem to create a self fulfilling prophecy kind of thing. Either have such a downer on the opposite sex, or feel unworthy of other's attention, that they express such negative views or things in such a provocative manner that it acts like a barrier to people wanting to get to know the person behind the words. Then that reinforces to the individual that they are undatable, or that all men are barstewards or women biatches.
of course, you can argue that the right person would see through that and make the greatest effort..but I think it will still alienate a lot of people that you might actually get on with really well, given half a chance.
and there are others who hide their barely concealed contempt for the opposite sex under a theme of " humour" . Woe betide the person who challenges this as they will be told they have no sense of humour, or to get a life :-)
as Pinks has said, insecurity is often behind defensive behaviours, and there are a few times when people really are that obnoxious ( or simply trolling when talking of internet contact )
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I'm a complete arse.. and no-one wants to date me :-(
B*gger... looks like you may have a point there Ratty ;-)
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Why try and compensate, just be yourself, if someone doesn't like you so what?
I've been on here now four years and have far more friends then enemies...
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I guess also it depends a lot on how you view and use MSE - I gave up the idea of dating on here a long time ago so treat this place as nothing more than a chat room.
As a result what people, women especially, think of me doesn't really bother me because I'm not trying to impress them for dating.
That's my excuse for being an arse...
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Good post piX
There again, does anyone know how they come across on the boards. Ive read back things ive posted and cringed. Im sure others have. The typed word can be misinterperated. I could name quite a few who come across badly on here and im surprised they would ever get a date. But in real life, they could be the total opposite. Perhaps thats the over compensation thing.
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In the context of the O/P, what impression does my addiction to Jaffa cakes (with the tangy orange bit in the middle) give?
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exactly Modman ... the written word is notorious for being able to be taken the wrong way, without the nuances of tone, facial expression etc .
Im sure I come across as far too serious at times but there are plenty here who have met me and will say that's far from the truth, or at least only one side of me.
interesting thread Ratty, and the replies so far too
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what.. that he's an arse, Minnie ;-)
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ha ha lol
You might say that, but I couldn't possibly comment.
: - )))
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It's a phrase that to me is so open to interpretation that it would apply to anyone depending on personal/political feelings. What one person could see as a good debater others may see as an arse. You could equally apply that to the, for want of a better phrase, a scatty and frivolous thread. I don't see that there is a one-size-fits-all. Life would be so boring if we all agreed all of the time :o)
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I think that some times people are doing nothing else other than just being themselves, but someone will think that they were being an arse just because they have made assumptions about their motivations. Perhaps because the so-called arse touched a raw nerve or their comment was perceived as a criticism.
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perhaps the op would be in a good position to answer his own question ?
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