Are you tired of all those namby, pamby, girly, sissy, completely wet adverts, that never come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that really speak to true
of me :
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry basxxxd who made you that way.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will think we can have sex.
4. When you are scared - I will tease the crap out of you about it
every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to stop your bloody whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again, I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy self.
9. When you look into the mirror and worry about the lines on your face - I'll mix up a tub of industrial strength pollyfilla for you.
When all said and done im a Nobody....and Nobody is perfect!
Well, as you can imagine, you need to have a good sense of humor to be able to cope with me. A wicked evil grin, sexy smile and a dirty mind is also a turn on. And if you've got a cute bum and can cook as good as my mum you get extra brownie points.
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