4th September 2010
Once upon a time (it was either that or, “a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away), there was a 30-something guy in a growing Lincolnshire town. And it was me. And he’s still there. The End.
Its ok, I’m led to believe I can still use the term “30-something” for around another five years, y’know, until my life actually begins?! (It had better, or there’ll be trouble)!
On a serious note (find one in your purse / wallet where Queenie is scowling a bit), I’m a terminally single 35 year old guy who considers himself socially awkward. I tend to frequent MSE in fits and starts, often not bothering for months at a time. For those of you who have communicated with me in the past, it’s nothing personal; I just have a short attention span for some things. Sorry… what was I saying??
I am Lincolnshire born and bred (although my belly is most definitely not yellow), and almost constantly bespectacled. I am considering laser surgery, although I bottled out a few years ago after a consultation in Leeds. This time round, if I go ahead, I’m hoping Tescos will foot the bill (Clubcard Deals)! I could do to lose some weight, but my height stretches it out a bit, so I think I get away with at least a few of the extra pounds. Assuming you ignore the “moobs”, of course.
I live on my own, in a rented house, where I also employ myself selling stuff on the Internet. We’re talking tangible goods here, not ebooks or dodgy chat services (both those ventures failed miserably). I do additional work, part-time, in a computer shop where I used to be fully employed. Self-employment suits me better, although the boss can be a pain sometimes. I have no particular ambition, and do not wish my business to grow immensely. As long as it keeps me busy and pays for the necessities, I’m reasonably happy.
When I’m not slave-driving myself into the ground (which, quite frankly, is a lot of the time), I enjoy cinema, watching tv / dvds with friends, eating out, pub quizzes, driving and walking. This is not an exhaustive list. I should do more of the walking, to be fair, but I enjoy it when I do. I keep a very small social circle; in fact it would struggle to form a straight line, let alone a circumference, but it could be considered quality, not quantity.
I am reasonably intelligent, but not particularly well-read, if that makes sense. My sense of humour encompasses sarcasm and multiple-entendres, but is not necessarily limited by them. Those who know me well choose their words carefully in conversation, which I consider to be a great educational tool (thesaurus mode would choose “implement” as a less ambiguous term).
In summary, I am a single, 30-something, self-employed, online selling, tall, blurry-eyed, overweight, word-twisting, pub-quizzing, non-yellow-bellied computer nerd.
If that’s not a sales pitch…
... oh, wait...
Intellect, conversation that goes beyond the bounds of text speak and one word / one line answers. Someone who would understand at least some of the many terms of reference I use in day to day conversation. Phrases or inflections commonly found in Monty Python, Red Dwarf and Black Adder or Aardman Animation productions, to mention a few. If you wouldn't throw me a puzzled look every time I said "Dinsdale", or "Beware the moooon", perhaps there's hope for me yet.
Someone who would have a chance of understanding where I have come from and where I am going... coz then they could explain it to me!
Someone with their own thoughts in the world, and an ability to see other's thoughts for what they are. Perhaps with a modicum of diplomacy so as not to offend people by telling them their thoughts are cobblers.
Someone with an ability to take things seriously when it is called for, but an equal ability to laugh in the face of adversity (unless he's really big and likely to hit me).
Someone who doesn't have a penchant for boiling bunnies would also be a bonus...
Is this you? Apply in writing, with full CV (no, not the Citroen).
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