Nickiow (50) from the Isle of Wight

Me (the client) was established 47 years ago, is an honest, funny, intelligent, caring and passionate company. A vacancy has now arisen for a partner to head up and run the prestigious Caring, Loving, Honesty and Bedroom Fun department. As you will be working very closely with me, the position offers the right candidate with an extremely rewarding career. Kissing skills should be second to none as must be the desire to work solely for one company. Honest, open communication skills are paramount as is the ability to ignite fires and cook a wide range of items as well as order taqke aways by phone, when necessary. The ability to be good with your hands would be preferred, a cute a* will suffice if manual dexterity is not your strong suite. Your sense of humour should be slightly quirky and dry. The reward package is generous to the right candidate.

To apply in the first instance, we require a clear, up to date CV, note from mother or docter not required at this stage. Initial interviews will be held at a convenient location, no competency testing will be undertaken but the candidate must be able to express themselves and demonstrate the ability to be successful in this new role, no burping/farting expeted.