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Mocha_Soul (33) from South West London

About me

"What are you doing here? Go away!
I didn't ask for you, I asked for the one below! Or similar! Or more interesting than that! Or totally different...
Not you!
Idiot!"

*exasperated rolling of the eyes*
(Some guys!)

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---------I am.....

Warm, caring, approachable, and understanding mother of a 6 yr old boy.
Deep, loving and spiritual (in a HUMANIST way).
Proud but not obsessive over appearance (simple is my motto - I haven't got the talent or the time to keep up with fashion or stand in front of a mirror).
Confident but not looking for spotlights - I've got enough self-obsessions.
Very intelligent.
I live a bit inside my own mind where I analyse problems, identify patterns and I sooooo hate it when I can't come up with an explanation.
I like clarity in everything and everybody and I strive to be clear myself (not always successfully, I must admit).
I love to learn, I'm extremely curious and life and the world could never be boring to me because of that (even if the world sometimes pales in comparison to what I think of it). I could maybe even add that, despite all, I'm a bit of a dreamer.
I'm tolerant and flexible but I take a very rigid stance if one of my values has been violated or challenged.
My optimism will go on regardless of disappointments though and I manage to maintain faith in humankind regardless of how well I get to know it (or maybe because of it).
I'm undemanding as far as the practicalities of life are concerned (you won't have me mentioning the toilet lid! I've got more important things on my mind!). I like simplicity.
I hate leading or controlling people but I'm not a follower either.
I can be very shy when meeting new people but none of my friends quite believes that because, around them, I'm as gregarious and self-confident as I can be.
I don't have many friends but the ones I have are very close and highly valued and held in great esteem and with great affection. I was never very good and soon lost interest in doing popular, I'm afraid.
I'm quite arrogant too (oh no, I blew it now!) ooh and cynical and sceptical!
I'm independent, quite unconventional and somewhat original. I'm a bit of an eccentric. Quite complex too (who isn't?).
People think me extremely flirty until they realise the person I love flirting with the most with is... myself.
I've got both a feminist streak and a feminine one (hard to juggle at times I must say but I relish the challenge all the same) and my feminine ego loves to win that particular game;
I'm pretty laid back and easy-going (even though quite pedantic with my spelling and grammar - don't worry, it's a fatal flaw, one not very easy to live with and I won't be demanding the same of you).

--------------I love.....

*To learn... Most things I do, I do because I'm insatiable in that respect.
*Reading about human beings and their qualities, quirks and misgivings - individual or collective. The latest is a novel by someone I started reading around my thirteenth year of age - José Saramago. He hardly uses paragraphs and that alone is... fascinating. This particular book is about a government that goes beserk when 83% of the population decide to vote... "blank" and that word alone is... fascinating.
*Listening to music, of which r&b, soul, and.... JAZZ (even the sound of this word...) are favourites. Not that I''m some sort of Jazz freak - my media library is actually quite varied and I discuss my music tastes on several online venues like download sites or music recommendation sites like Last.FM or Pandora. I pick friends brains on a lot of styles and new artists, I love to explore that which is very arrogantly is called "World music", in the Western world.
*Radio is preferred to TV and I do both online. I have a passion for both BBC7 and R4 and I regularly listen to stream originating from abroad. I chucked the TV and most of what I watch is, again streamed or downloaded namely the news (if, when I can be bothered) docs or those quirky American series usually featuring something of a misanthrope of a main character (but also brilliant in their field of activity) - House MD, Monk, Boston Legal, Shark, Bones are examples of a style you probably have, by now, identified. In any case, and just like with music, I'll need a recommendation of those whose opinions I respect for some reason or other. Please don't think I''d ask you to get rid of your TV though. I only dismissed mine because I really didn't watch it, the exceptions being those occasions when mind was too tired to think.
*Cinema. If there is something I'd love to do more is going to the movies. It still feels as it did when I was child but, of course, the film type has changed a bit and the venues are so boring and crammed and stifling and... cushy. I like surreal movies like those of Frederico Fellini (but they are so terribly rare to watch nowadays);
*Favourite outings include anything that doesn't paralyse the brain and can be meaningfully discussed during or afterwards - an obscure but talented band playing live in a bar, a good film, a good play, a museum or an art gallery, a steam train (oh, I love steam trains), or coffee in a busy place whilst watching people going past and conjecturing/predicting/musing at their activity(ies) (I particularly love to do this with my son).
*Speaking of whom - My son. We form a very unconventional family in more ways than one and life is easier because of that. We go to art galleries and we mock modern art ("Mum! Someone ripped this canvas"), we jump together on puddles (on my high heels, is particularly interesting), and we philosophise together ("Mum! There's really no big and small, is there?", "What do you mean?", "Well... You're taller than me, and I am taller than this chair, but ants think I'm a giant!", "Yes, that is a profound thing to say! It's true too!", "Mum!", "Yes!", "What does profound mean!" - Ain't he wonderful?) We tell each other stories. He is a bit of a little me (spelling pedanticism an'all) and he shapes me quite a lot too. We cook together and we talk to each other at the dinner table about the woes of the day as well as of the joys (I love his optimism and his criticism of me, even if grrrrr, sometimes....)
*Travelling is a joy because, well I'm so curious, but chances are I'm not going to be able to handle a beach resort catering for my needs in such a way as to make one too lazy to explore the world outside it.
*Take me dancing, not raving (excuse the pun) although chances are my self-conscious bit will reign it in a bit outside. I dance all the time at home (I think that is why I've never had to go on a diet)
*Wine bars or other places where I can have and hold a conversation without hurting my throat. A simple walk can be so soothing to the mind.
*Wine (preferably red) and dine, I sooooooo love food. You'll often find me wildly tucking in some Mediterranean style olive bread and roasted vegetable houmous and a few slices of tomato or cucumber (or both).
*Coffee or chocolate (both together, even better!!)

-----------I'm looking to......

*Go on little big adventures;
*Anticipate, savour and reminisce about as many moments as I possibly can from this, my life, of which this is the first day of. I suppose in many ways, I mean live life to the full, and that might include bungee-jumping (I like to stretch my limits and if you're my kind of guy, you'll prolly get me to do anything - well... ;)
*Grow within myself;
* Fall in love... miserably, hopelessly, utterly and childishly with some guy who's probably far removed from what is so extensively described in this page;
*Have him feel the same.

Caveat lector!

About you

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfilment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

You are...
Well..

You've read the "Me" bit and you smiled at times.
You probably thought "stuck up cow" - but your opinion of me softened as you read along.
You identify a bit with that (or maybe not)!
A sense of humour would be appreciated but please do not try too hard it's not that important and I quite like serious too.
Someone who doesn't describe himself as "mad", "crazy" or "bonkers" but will be quite capable of being all of those at times.
A degree of depth is required as I find the lack of it deeply boring and patience trying.
You'll have your own interests and passions which I might share, appreciate, even take up, from sheer contagion.
You are open minded, considerate.
Your mind is mature but I'm talking of your mind here, not your age. As far as age goes, well... I'm not looking for a sugga daddy so... But then I don't like to close my mind to the potential either. Besides I tend to have the wildest crushes on men that tend to be around my mum's age. The honourable Elijah Muhammad used to say that my ideal man would be around 51. Love him! His ideas of an ideal wife were a tad off-putting though. I'd say 15yrs tops from my age (hmm, hope I don't regret saying this lol) but then who knows. I'd sort of prefer not to know so my judgement is not clouded. Although it springs to my mind that I love to surpass barriers so if you're a wild 18 yr old with "panache" and a penchant for the 30 something woman (providing you're not looking for a sex teacher, of course)...

You are taller than me because my feminine streak likes that; but you can also be shorter than me providing you enjoy the challenge and you carry yourself tall (if you get my meaning). By the way, my B&Q measuring tape says I'm 5'7'' but somehow that doesn't tally with MSE's equivalence. And I wear high heels on top of that by the way, so if you have misgivings about a taller woman get over them before asking me out or just don't ask me out at all;
Taller or shorter than myself...
You're required to be confident, even a bit arrogant though aware of that and forever musing over it whilst trying to curb the excess) but you're also tolerant and forgiving of fellow mortals' "misgivings".
You're not scared of life and you're definitely not intimidated by an intelligent woman. In fact, you'll enjoy the challenge, but not in a childishly competitive way (I've already got that to curb ;)).

You've got balls mainly because you'll need them to "handle" someone who is extremely passionate and intense - sexually, emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually - Gosh, I do hope that is not a tall order. Can I keep on dreaming?

You understand that I have a son and that he is part integral of my life. I'm not looking for a father for him but it would be really fabulous if you and him got along well.
You understand that your existing kids will be welcomed with open arms but if you plan or are unsure about having [more] children (there go lots of 18 yr old men straight out of the window!) then a relationship with me might not be the best course your life should take right now. And NO, I won't change my mind about this.

You're probably patient because you're not here to waste anybody's time but you agree that, in a meaningful relationship, friendship comes first and loves comes after and, critically, you're serious about what brings you here.
The other thing you'll have to be is very in touch with yourself and what makes you tick because only then will you be able to show me yourself beyond your profession (exception made, of course, to all those lucky to be in love with their own professions. It's a joy to listen to someone passionate about their work!), social status or your bank account. All of those quite superfluous in a relationship with me. Period.
You're not afraid of showing affection.
You are sooo charming and you'll know that flattery will get you everywhere. Okay, I won't be hyperbolic - almost everywhere. Vote me clever - that WILL get my attention straight away.

You're thoughtful, warm, tender. You're sensual, playful, tactile. You'll make me turn because you'll know just how to push my buttons to stir my imagination ;)

You're not hoping to do "easy".
You're not afraid that I might see you as an arrogant son of a b****h and you won't hesitate from telling me I'm a pain in the @rse for fear of hurting my feelings (especially as my feelings have acquired the ability of regenerating at such speeds as to allow me to do the next pain in the @rse thing in no time at all) and every so often you'll feel that particular role play will have reversed ;).
Oh! And slippers and DVDs are a given. Mentioning them is... well... a bit sad.

You're a companion and a "partner in crime".
Maybe you share my curiosity for the world and humankind... after all, your idea of a good read doesn't coincide with page 4 of the Daily Mail, even if you feel, as I do sometimes, that you've been neglecting your reading for ages.
You're someone to learn from, admire, respect but somehow you're also humble and hungry to learn yourself.
You're not just looking for someone to grow old with. You're looking for someone to grow FURTHER with.
You and I will have endless conversations... about everything and nothing at all, but it will all seem highly important at the time... and we'll also have comfortable silences - every now and then, in one of those, my eyes will look for you in the room and I'll just wonder in my mind "how, just how? Am I dreaming or did I actually get this lucky?"

Mocha_Soul is 33 years old and lives in South West London. She is single with one child. She's 5' 6" tall and of slim build. She's a smoker, who drinks occasionally. She is looking for dating and romance, friendship, hobbies and activities, business contacts.

Level: 9 Membership level: 9/10