MikeNorthWales Male (68) from Conwy

Hi, thanks for dropping in. Im doing a 3 year part time foundation degree in Art and Design just to stay sane.

I hope to be a portait painter.

Now doing a full time 3 year BA in fine art

While I was driving down the M4 the other day (going a little to fast) I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman on the other side with a radar gun, lying in wait.

The policeman pulled me over and, with that classic, patronising smirk asked
“Runway too short” ?

To which I replied, “I’m late for work”

To which he asked, “What do you do” ?

“I’m a Rectum Stretcher” I responded.

The policeman was surprised and confused. “A what ? A rectum stretcher ?? And what does a rectum stretcher do ?”

“Well” I said “ I start with inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in work side to side until I get both my hands in, and then slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it’s about six feet”.

Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously, “And just what do you do with a six foot ar**hole?”

To which I politely replied ”You give it a radar gun and park it behind a bridge.

My names Mike, late 50s, slim and stand 5ft 10ins tall.
I could do with putting on a few pounds but otherwise I'm in pretty good shape ish.
I have hair, lol and a wicked look in my eyes. (so Ive been told)

"The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.
However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!

At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.


Ive been told i have a nice smile and charming nature, (honest) with a sense of humour thrown in for good measure and i don't take myself too seriously.

An old pilot sat down at Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeroncas, Neuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women.
As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old
pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'


I live in N. Wales for my sins, i can travel locally or entertain in my small but cosy flat. (up date my cosy flat has now become my studio and there stuff just about everywere)
I am back on the scene to find a long term partner but happy to make friends with any like-minded people.
I like a good laff, nights out or in with a nice chilled bottle of white, good conversation, good food, (yes i can cook as well) and good company in any situation.

A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious.

Roland, the class swot, gets up and says, 'Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious.'

'Well done Roland,' says the teacher. 'Can anyone else try?'

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails says, 'My Gran says there's a bug going round and it's contagious.'

'Well done, Katie,' says the teacher. 'Anyone else?'

Little Johnny jumps up and says, 'Our next door neighbor is painting his house with a 4 cm brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious.'

If you like what you've read so far and would like to get in touch ..even if its just to say hi
The reply button is somewhere down there if you wanna press it.
Feel free to hit it any time, I'll reply no worries.


Mike x

I`m here looking for friendship to begin with

Iv`e been on other sites with a forum and i hope this one`s fun.

About me
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Basic facts icon About me

I'm 68 years old and come from Conwy in the United Kingdom. I'm divorced with three children. I'm 5' 10" tall and I'd describe myself as slim. I don't smoke and I drink occasionally. I'm here for dating, friendship and hobbies and interests.

Email confirmed   Confirmed
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Membership level I'm all the way up to level 8 membership.

Joined 20-Mar-2009
Last logged in   17-Jul-2020
Logins 2694
Last updated profile  8-Dec-2017
Profile hits 4540
Membership points 34097

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3ft x 2ft with 2ft x 1ft atached board 2ins deep
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