Flossie (53) from Cornwall

Hi, I'm Flossie.

I'm a fairly average lady of middle years, who likes all types of needlecraft and has fifteen cats who....

No, I'm not! I'm a screaming bag of unbalanced hormones who is here to wreak revenge on the men of this world for all....

Errr.... Not going well, is it? Gawd I'm bored. Which is why you're getting the new, unexpurgated Essence of Floss. Ok, ok, there might be a bit of expurgation. Can't have all you charming gents out there thinking 'Bloody Hell! A total fruitcake! Run away!' Though that might not necessarily be a bad thing :D

Anyway, to business.

I am indeed of middle years (how did that happen!), I don't have cats and I don't have problems with the other 50% of the population of the planet. Quite like them really. Grilled, lightly...NO! Be serious, woman! Sigh.

I was in a long (20 year) relationship, which apart from the usual ups and downs that most people have, did not leave me with an axe to grind, just sad that it came to a very sudden and unplanned-for end. Since then apart from one pleasant interlude that fizzled (out, mostly) I have been sat in my little ivory tower doing the normal things that people do to survive.(Umm, that sounds a bit cheesy so it may go missing at some point.)

I work in the print industry - fulfilling and frustrating in equal measure. I can draw and paint reasonably well but have lost my mojo for it lately (maybe 'cos I need to work without being peered at and commented on - the lodger is a nice bloke but he drives busses!). Oh and I have a second job on a Saturday morning to earn a few more pennies, as a cleaner. I'm not too proud to earn a bit extra to help pay the bills. Apparently I'm very good at it too.

I love to read and cook - sometimes at the same time.... it can get messy.... I like films but generally wait til they're out on DVD as, apart from the monthly town hall showing (for which it is recommended that you take your own cushion), the nearest cinemas are 20 and 26 miles away. Like most people I like my music, a very varied taste (apart from C & W and Rock'n Roll. And Thrash Metal. And Mantovanni and His Strings). (Adopts best Mae West leer/sneer - you should come and inspect my 'collection' sometime)(Oh dear God, what am I doing!)

I like parentheses too.

:)

I am inclined to be frivolous on the boards of MSE. To the point of driving the other poor members of MSE to the point of desperation at times. They find it within themselves to be tolerant mostly, for which I am grateful. Hopefully you, yes YOU! will have been amused enough by this ramble of a profile to get in contact me to find out if I'm as daft as I seem.

What am I looking for? Oh I hate those questions. It's like interviews - what do you want out of this job? Have you any questions about this job? No! My mind has just gone totally blank and I'm sat here grinning like a dazed fool. Next interviewee!

What I would like...? The flippant answer is George Clooney stood on my doorstep clutching a bunch of yellow roses (not keen on red - pink's acceptable if they're old fashioned and scented), wearing a smile. Just a smile.

:D Sigh

However, this is the real world. It would be nice to meet someone with a bit of brains and common sense but no attitude. We ladies are always accused of banging on about the sense of humour, but honestly, it helps. I don't expect Prince Charming. I look in the mirror and see Princess Fiona staring back at me - post-Shrek - so have to be realistic here. But I know how a shower works, what a toothbrush is for, how to work a hairdryer and what clothes are suitable for what occasions.

I can do text speak if pushed but would prefer someone who has the facility to string two intelligible words together. If the spelling is wrong but the meaning is sound, that isn't a problem. I would like to find an equal, someone who is prepared to share good AND bad times, someone who can laugh at the absurdity of life and doesn't look at me and find me wanting.

In the meantime I will log onto MSE most days as, in lieu of something - or someone - to provide a greater interest, I will drop my little pearls of wisdom in willy-nilly, and stand well back to be - ignored, mostly (lol!). I love this place! :D