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fifitrix (39) from Warwickshire

About me

HATE KIDS!!! Thought id get that out of the way!!!
HAS ANYONE SEEN GEORGE CLOONEY ON HERE?
I am a fun loving, happy go lucky girl who loves to have fun at the seaside, the fair and the pub!!! Loves to travel and meet people (but not people with kids!!!) sorry! Hates sport and being home alone..........Ahhh do you feel sorry for me yet? Ha ha!! Oh and they must know the number for Interflora and the local takeaway......

About you

1st date at the pub for a glass of Shampoo or 3 and just chat and see if the person can make me larffff!!!! Oh and see if they mention the ex wife, girlfriend or dog which shows they are just soooo not over them ha ha!!!

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contageous Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - ****
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

fifitrix is 39 years old and lives in Warwickshire. She is divorced with no children. She's 5' 3" tall and of average build. She's a non-smoker, who drinks occasionally. She is looking for dating and romance, friendship, hobbies and activities.

Level: 3 Membership level: 3/10