Help chapter Private messaging

Help topic What are private messages?

Private messages are messages sent between you and another member. They are private between you and cannot be seen by any other members. Think of private messaging as a bit like email, except anonymous and without the spam or virus risk!

Help topic How do I send a private message?

Once you've found someone you like you can send them a message. To do this:

  • log in
  • locate the person you would like to send a message to, using Search, Advanced Search, Tags, Friends, Distance Search, Favourites, Conversations or any other means
  • click their name or photograph to view their profile
  • there is a message box towards the bottom of the page
  • type your message into the box
  • click "Send"
  • the message is sent using our internal delivery system, and the recipient is notified by email that there is a message waiting for them

Help topic How do I know when a message I sent has been read?

To find out if a recipient has read a message you sent them, check your "Sent messages" folder via the "My messages" link in the main menu

Next to each message is an icon. The closed envelope icon Closed envelope means the recipient has not read the message. The open envelope icon Open envelope means the recipient has read the message.

Help topic How do I reply to a private message?

To reply to a private message:

  • log in
  • click "My messages
  • click the link of the message you would like to reply to
  • click the "Reply" link
  • type your message
  • click "Send"
  • the message is sent and received immediately using our internal delivery system

You can check if you have replied to a message by looking at the icon next to the message in your Inbox folder. If the closed envelope icon Closed envelope is showing, you have not yet read the message. If the open envelope icon Open envelope is showing, you have opened the message but not replied to it. If the open replied envelope icon Replied is showing, you have replied to the message.

Help topic How do I delete messages?

You can delete messages from your Inbox folder. To do this:

  • log in
  • click "My messages" in the main menu
  • tick the checkbox next to each message you would like to delete
  • click the "Delete" button at the top of the column
  • the messages are then moved to your "Deleted messages" folder

You can view deleted messages in your "Deleted messages" folder for up to 90 days after deletion. After 90 days, ALL messages, whichever folder they are in, are automatically deleted by our system.

You can also use the Check All button at the bottom of your messages folder to automatically check all the messages for deleted, and the Uncheck All button to remove checks from all the messages.

Help topic How do I undelete a message I have deleted?

You cannot undelete a message you have deleted, but you can view and reply to it from your "Deleted messages" folder any time up to 90 days after receiving it.

Help topic How do I see messages I have sent?

To see messages you have sent to other members, do this:

  • log in
  • click "My messages" on the main menu
  • scroll to the bottom of the page
  • click "Sent messages

Help topic I have a message from someone. How do I find their profile?

Click on the message. Then click their name which will be shown as a link on the message page.

Help topic I've been told I have a message - why can't I find it?

This normally happens when you have blocked the sender. Check and remove the block if necessary. For more details on blocking and unblocking, see the Blocking section.

Help topic What does 'Message cannot currently be replied to' mean?

This usually means the person who sent the message has broken our terms and conditions by sending spam or fraudulent messages to you. We immediately removed that member. It's one of the ways that we are working hard for you to protect you from undesirable contact and ensure you can stay focussed on meeting real, genuine people.

In some cases it can simply mean that the person who sent the message has resigned their account between sending you the message and you logging in to retrieve it. In either case you cannot reply because the person is no longer a member of the site.

Help topic Can I prevent someone from sending me private messages?

We understand that you may not want to receive private messages from a particular member for various reasons. You can block another member from the message page. To do this:

  • log in
  • click "My messages" on the main menu
  • click a message from the person you want to block
  • click the "Block sender" link under the message

For complete information on blocking and unblocking members, see the help section on Blocking.


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