Jo Hemmings explains how the key to
successful dating is to approach it like any other long-term project.
Be more business-like about your love life
There are 11 million singles in the UK, many of who are looking for long-term love.
There are a plethora of ways of meeting your match in the 21st Century from a chance
encounter in a bar, to organised singles events, personal ads and introduction agencies.
The business of online dating alone is worth £300 million in the UK. And yet still
there is a constant flow of attractive, eligible singles looking for dating advice.
As a Dating Coach, I deal with my clients in a grounded, focused, professional and
business like manner. I believe that you have to deal with finding a mate in the
same way that you would run a successful and thriving business. It has to be goal
defined; time sensitive and you need to have the edge on your competitors. Where
have all the solvent, sexy, successful and single men and women gone? Why does their
availability on the market appear so rare or short-lived? In this competitive world,
you must adopt the strategy of speculate to accumulate – in other words, you have
to be prepared to invest time, energy, creativity and money in achieving results.
A recent survey showed that over 60% of 20 to 60 year old singles were prepared
to spend around £10,000 to meet their ideal partner. Even if you have only a fraction
of this sort of money at your disposal, you can run your love life in a business
like and professional way and make that all important move from the boardroom to
These are some of things you might like to think about:
First impressions count, so your presentation skills must include basic body language,
flirting and communication skills as well as hair and clothes appropriate to the
type of person you are after. As a woman boho smocks and tousled hair might be just
what you need to attract a musician or an artist, but if you are after a sharp-suited
professional, it’s unlikely to cut the mustard... And guys – women are NEVER impressed
by comedy socks/ties or a football shirt unless it’s worn ON the pitch...
What does your emotional CV say about you? Have you jumped from partner to partner
or have you had just a few, long-term relationships?
Take your cue from successful businesses
to get dating results
What is it that you want to happen, how much are you willing to invest and when
do you expect to see results? Skilfully combining all three will help you see the
A single sentence that sums up your strategy and helps keen you focused. Write it
on a Post-it and keep it by your computer when you’re looking through possible partners
You are now a brand. Like any brand you must create a brand awareness and consistency.
Create a ‘signature’ look with your clothes and appearance. Don’t be scruffy one
minute and smart the next. Keep it consistent.
Expand your market
don’t simply reply on internet dating to find a partner. Businesses dependent on
one outlet only, soon begin to fail. Expand your horizons – go to singles events,
the local pub, quiz nights, the gym or sign up for evening classes. Anything that
gets you out there meeting people.
Managing your expectations
What do you want in your ideal partner and are you being realistic about what you
hope to achieve? You might need to be more confident in your ambitions or if you
aren’t meeting the right sort of people, be strong enough to admit you might be
punching above your weight.
Advertising, marketing, and investing
time and money - all crucial to get results
Investment and Budgeting
How much are you willing to spend to achieve results? And how much can you afford
per month/week to do this?
It is critical to know the type of partner that you want to find and how to attract
them. It’s no good being a desperate-to-date with a scattergun approach or overly
picky, with a too long and impossible ‘shopping lists’. Be interesting, confident
and above all be true to yourself...
Who are you up against and how can they have the edge over your competition? Take
a look at people of your sex and age on the site. Are their pictures and profiles
more interesting than yours? If so get your profile rewritten for you or get some
new photos taken.
Don’t be afraid to ask friends and colleagues if they know anyone who might be single
and suitable for you.
Sealing the deal
And when do you find it, be sure to make the most of it. Don’t let the right partner
slip through your grasp due to nerves, lack of confidence or cold feet ...
© Midsummer's Eve 2007